Change everything in life. Try scuba diving

Everyone knows the fact that we control life exclusively ourselves. And everything that we have achieved, and that you will receive in this life, is completely our merit. Another conclusion follows from this: all the negativity that surrounds us occurred only through our fault and because of our decisions or actions. However, despite our knowledge, it takes us a very long time to realize that we have the ability to change everything. Therefore, in this article we intend to tell and convince you that changing your life for the better is very real, no matter how scary and impossible it may seem.

5 simple steps to change your life and yourself

In addition, we would like to warn you about the difficulties that you will most likely have to face: they will not understand you, they will advise you to do everything differently, they will probably try to stop you, and most importantly, you yourself will not particularly oppose this, since you will have little faith into the reality of possible better changes. Therefore, before you change your life, believe in yourself, your strength, and most importantly, in the final success!

1. Build an imaginary better future and make a detailed plan to bring it to fruition. Every change starts with a dream. Each of you should have your own dream, or rather a goal for which you will live, work and change yourself. The dream should be so strong that for the sake of it you can wake up early in the morning and get to work, for the sake of it you will not stop after failures. Try to describe in detail your future better life: what and how it will take place every day. For example, describe to yourself what clothes you will wear, what house you will live in, and what kind of person will be next to you. After you have a goal, try to come up with a step-by-step plan or tasks that you need to complete on pieces of paper and write in detail on pieces of paper. For example, we have a dream to live in Canada. To do this, we draw up a rough plan: explore options for emigration to Canada, collect required documents and fundraising. Then you begin to implement each of the points. This is how they change their lives for the better.


2. Touch real change. You cannot change your life for the better by changing some little thing in it, such as buying a professional camera or going to the sea. The goal should be more global and relate to most of your life. For example, you can change your job, place of residence, attitude to life, etc. In addition, your desires must be real, and not the desire to learn how to fly in the air.


3. Change your social circle. In many ways, the changes will depend on the circle of your communication, if the people around you support, help and in every possible way contribute to your improvements, then everything will work out. If others envy, escalate the situation, not believe in you and say all sorts of nasty things about you, then, of course, no changes will occur. We can tell you right away that in 95% of cases the social circle will have to be changed in any case, because if you are unhappy now, then this is partly the fault of the people around you too. They can be direct culprits in this, as well as indirect ones, for example, be indifferent to your life situation. So start talking to successful people, kind and those who believe in your potential changes. It’s better for other people not to talk about their plans at all, just stop contacting them and that’s it ...


4. Find the strength in yourself to rise after the falls. Of course, in building a successful and happy future, there will be constant problems and failures. In these difficult moments, you should never give up or give up. You need to “get up off your knees” and continue to go ahead into your best life. Be prepared for such difficulties. Look for support among people close to you. Be bolder and more persistent, because you still need to achieve your happiness, no matter what it takes.


5. Start acting right now! Do you know what is the best moment to start your changes?! RIGHT NOW!!! Do you want to change yourself and your life?! Then immediately begin to change, do not wait for the right moment, it may never be, but this does not mean that you need to sit and wait for it. The faster you "start", the faster you will come to the goal - to your better life.

☀ Sometimes it may seem that in order to change your life, huge large-scale actions are required. But there are small steps, most of them are simple, and put together they give the desired positive result.

☀ Stress, tension, emotional burnout - there are many names, but the essence is the same. Each of us at least once discovered that he was driven into a corner, from which there was no way out.
☀ We set ourselves a goal: lose weight, learn foreign language, learn to dance. But a week or two passes, and our enthusiasm fades. Why is it hard for us to stay motivated? And what can we do to strengthen our willpower?
☀ Most people believe that they can change their lives for the better by their own efforts. But for some reason, most often we do nothing, but simply wait for changes that will happen by themselves.

☀ I have a law - called "feet in the water". Every three to five years you should sit on the bank of the river, put your feet in the water, do nothing, sit and think: what have you done over the years?
☀ Everything that unexpectedly changes our lives is not an accident at all... 1. First of all, value yourself and your time: learn to say “no”, close a boring book, quit your job bad work say goodbye to people for whom you no longer feel anything ...

☀ It is impossible to transform your whole life in one day! Its change is a process, a path that we have to go through step by step. Our experts describe its main stages.

☀ Does each of us have the opportunity to find the life that suits him? Are we always able to change the situation?

☀ Between daily work and difficult family life, many of us devote too little time to ourselves. How do we know if we are making good use of these rare moments and are satisfying our deepest needs?
☀ Change is the main constant of our life. Sometimes - a way to survive in a changing environment (when change is a response to an external threat). Sometimes - a way to overtake everyone (when change is an opportunity).
☀ Once a bird accidentally flew into the room. The man decided to help her and let her out the window to freedom. But she was afraid of him.

☀ Your parents, grandparents raised you in such a way that you became absolutely sure that in order to get something, you need to work hard, sweat, deny yourself everything and overcome a huge number of obstacles in your life all your life.
☀ As psychologist Abraham Maslow once wrote, “The most beautiful fate, the most wonderful fortune that can befall any human being, can be sacrificed for the right to do what you passionately love to do.”
☀ Rejoice in every change in your life. Most people are afraid of change. For them, it is better to live in the dull monotony of everyday life than to face new challenges in today's rapidly changing world. Having decided on new experiences in life, you get the opportunity to feel happiness again. Start with what you especially want. Let the changes in your life, this is the best thing you can do.

☀ Development is possible only outside the comfort zone. It is time to learn to accept and manage the feelings that make you uncomfortable.

📖 A wonderful Christmas story for the soul, when you don’t want serious books, but only one desire is to rest your heart and get a lost, unique feeling of an approaching miracle. This magical story, designed to become a real antidepressant, is thoroughly saturated with the smells of delicious pastries, full of atmospheric New Year's lights and felt by the romantic emotions of the main characters.

Many of us, faced with life's difficulties and problems, think about the question of how to change our lives by starting all over again. However, it is one thing to want to do it, and quite another to implement it. Let's take a look at the most simple ways such changes.

Why is there a desire to start over?

The fate of a person is full of joys, bright events, and hardships, difficulties. It happens that a person gets used to deal with difficulties and successfully does it. However, situations are often created when people are simply not able to cope with the traumatic situation in which they find themselves. And then they begin to think about the question of how to change their lives. This question is not easy, but only the person who asked it can answer it. How to be in a situation of life's crossroads?

Having found yourself in a state of impasse in life, it is important to understand what was the main reason for the situation in which you found yourself. The reasons can be very diverse: from external to internal. It can be troubles at work that are related to the fact that you are hungry for career growth, but for years you have been marking time in one position, low-paid and not prestigious. You want variety in your work, but you are forced to spend 8 hours a day in a stuffy office with boring and petty people, doing what you don’t like.

It may be family troubles associated with the fact that you have lost both affection and respect for your marriage partner. You are trying to rebuild yourself and save the family for the sake of the children, for the sake of your shared past, but you understand that you cannot do this. From here comes a feeling of longing and dissatisfaction with one's fate.

Thus, you cannot simply find a solution to change your life without understanding these deep mental problems. Without a careful appeal to the world of one's own conscious and unconscious, nothing will come of it.

Perhaps your present today is far from joyful, but this does not mean that it will always be so. Life in general is an extremely changeable thing, so your joy today can become your grief tomorrow, and vice versa. How to change your life? This is the question, the answer to which should be sought in the depths of your heart.

In order not to indulge in a feeling of longing, you need to look for something good in today. Not everything you want to change, something must be left. Gentle sun, friends, loving relatives. Look for what is meaningful to you in the present, and appreciate this gift.

Tip three. If you decide to change something, think carefully and seriously about your steps.

If you still decide that without changes your life is now impossible, rationally think over all your actions. After all, the question of how to change your life for the better is very important.

Decide what you need to do to fulfill your dream: change jobs, or maybe get a professional retraining, break family ties or start a new family, etc. There are people who find a way out of the crisis in what they take on raising a baby from the Baby House, and there are those who go on a long business trip abroad.

However, remember that finding a solution to change your life may not work on the first try. This requires a long and difficult work on yourself and on the circumstances of your life path.

It is very difficult to change something in the established order of your being, therefore, with due diligence, you must calculate the consequences that life will lead to after you make a certain decision. After all, it’s not enough just to say to yourself: “Change life for the better.” It is important to understand what needs to be changed, how and what will happen when you do what you have in mind.

For example, a 33-year-old woman who is married to a man she does not love realizes that she is tired of family life. Even though she has a child preschool age, she decides to break off her marriage because its further preservation seems to her absurd. However, after a painful divorce and division of property, as well as the determination of the place of residence of the child with her, this woman falls into an even deeper depression. She understands that her desire to become a mother again is no longer feasible, the ex-husband now seems less boring, and life alone without a partner seems simply unbearable.

Therefore, before committing fateful actions in life, you should understand that the phrase “changing life for the better” must actually come true, that is, you must really improve, and not worsen your life situation.

Tip five. Or maybe all this is just an age crisis?

It happens that a person falls into the deepest depression, he feels unnecessary, tired, having lost the meaning of his being. The picture as a whole is completely bleak. A person decides that something is wrong in his life, he thinks about how to change his life for the better, something radically changes, however, after going through certain trials, he realizes that he has not achieved anything: longing for soul as it was, and remains. And you can neither destroy it nor extinguish it, you can only live with it, and living is very painful. What to do in such a situation?

In such a situation, you need to think, and perhaps the human condition is a manifestation of an age crisis? Let's try to answer the question of what these crises are.

A bit about the midlife crisis

In this case, we are interested in the crisis, which is called the midlife crisis. By the way, psychologists believe that this crisis manifests itself at any age of a person, for someone it begins at 28, and for someone it manifests itself only after 40.

How does this crisis manifest itself? The fact is that a person, on average 33-38 years old, suddenly begins to understand that his life is wasted in vain. Despite the fact that he started a family and reached certain career heights, this does not mean anything to him. He was never able to find his answer to the question of how to change life in the order that he expected in his youth.

And the person begins to rush about. He is looking for something new, something that would drown out his inner longing and give meaning to his being. Often, women at this age give birth to another child who is treated differently than their previous children. Men at this age, due to the crisis, can leave their old family and decide on a new marriage. Some people leave their former profession forever, some people can get carried away with alcohol or other means of calming the soul.

However, is a midlife crisis bad for everyone?

It cannot be said that this crisis has purely negative consequences. For some people, it becomes a kind of litmus test that shows that something is going wrong in life. Many want to change their thoughts, change their lives, and the crisis of this age period helps them to do this. It indicates where the cause of the problems is located, helps to establish that there are some flaws in the fate of a person and it is not too late to correct them. As the famous Soviet psychologist L. S. Vygodsky wrote, the age crisis is an occasion to look at oneself in a new way. It is during the period of maturity, due to the onset of this state, that a person develops certain neoplasms in the psyche, which allow him to change something in his destiny in the future.

Change your life: where to start?

This question is both simple and complex at the same time. As a rule, they are asked by people who are still at a crossroads: something needs to be changed, this is clear. But how to change how radical these changes should become? These questions remain open. Let's try to answer them.

People who have changed their lives admit that the most difficult thing was the first step towards a new reality. For example, someone has dreamed all his life about getting higher education, but life circumstances did not allow this to be done in youth and youth. And now a person has approached the 40-year milestone, he has a profession and a decent income, but in his soul he remains unsure of himself, believing that he is missing something. Deciding to go to higher education educational institution, such a future student is afraid of a lot: how his relatives and friends will look at him, what he will be like in a student environment, etc. However, having turned the tide and studied at least one semester at a university, such a person feels like a winner: he was able to change his thoughts , to change his life, achieved what he dreamed of all his youth and youth.

Or another example. A thirty-five-year-old woman dreamed of a child all her life, she was treated for infertility for many years, but did not achieve her goal. As a result, she developed a prolonged and severe depression with suicidal thoughts. She met a man who wanted to connect his life destiny with her. A woman thought for a long time before marriage, because she had lost hope of becoming a mother. But, having decided to take this step, six months later she found out that she was expecting a baby. The joy of the birth of a baby overshadowed all her sorrows, she found the meaning of life and realized that her desire, expressed in the phrase “I want to change my life”, came true, she was able to shift her fate in a positive direction.

But how do you find the strength to make positive changes?

As a rule, it is very difficult to find the strength for such positive changes. After all average age– this is no longer the time of youth, when many of the problems seem insignificant. After a thirty-year milestone, it is difficult to change, you need to force yourself to believe that joy is sure to be waiting for you somewhere around the corner of your being.

Do you want to change your life for the better? Where to start, don't know? We will answer directly. Need to start with holistic analysis throughout your life path. After conducting such an analysis on our own or together with psychologists or with significant loved ones, we must make a fateful decision: what exactly needs to be changed?

And after all the thought, start your new way. Most likely, at the beginning of the path it will be very difficult, new decisions will be difficult, but one should not give up. If the feeling of melancholy and meaninglessness of being completely torment you, then it is important to just try to live every day with a smile, enjoy the little things in life and, going to bed, thank God for giving you another day of life. Gradually, circumstances will help you accept the new reality.

And finally, let us give the last piece of advice on the topic: "Changing life for the better: where to start?" No matter what, cultivate optimism in yourself. Believe in your future, sincerely believe that people around you need you, constantly look for things to do and care for yourself so as not to indulge in sad thoughts. Fight external circumstances, do not give up, do not lose faith in yourself and in the fact that a lucky star guides you through life, and all trials only strengthen you and give you precious life experience.

And therefore, if you decide to yourself: "I want to change my life," change it, go ahead, and everything will be fine with you. You just have to believe it. Dare!

Many people are not happy with what they have. Someone is not satisfied with the financial situation, tormented by mental imbalance, someone needs recognition in society and full self-realization for happiness, someone sets goals and strives hard for them. But when what is planned does not come true, hopes collapse, a person is disappointed, wants to change his life. It is important to understand what exactly does not suit you and where to start in order to become truly happy, build an algorithm and act on it.

Content:

False beliefs and imposed notions of happiness

Some blame themselves for all the troubles, others shift the responsibility to others and believe that circumstances are to blame for everything. It must be remembered that no matter what state of mind this moment however, all this is the fruit of numerous thoughts and conclusions. Man has the power to change his future.

Often, false ideas, beliefs completely absorb and prevent you from moving forward. They originate from the immediate environment and relate to life, the current situation, loved ones, finances, work.

Beliefs are often imposed from childhood, teachers, relatives, friends can have a hand in this. There are representations that are formed from life experience. Not all of them have a positive impact. These formed concepts can be a brake on further actions, not only not to develop, but also to limit.

To understand how to satisfy your needs, start enjoying life, you should try to understand what has already happened and is still happening. The first thing to do is to observe your thoughts. They turn into phrases, phrases lead to actions, actions form habits. Habits tend to shape character, which in turn often determines destiny.

Video: Thoughts that will give meaning to existence

How to properly assess what is happening

It happens that it is not circumstances that prevent you from enjoying life, but your attitude to what is happening. Psychologists call the most common mistakes.

The tendency to regret a decision. You can regret that you had to leave your previous job or refuse a gentleman who stubbornly called for marriage. It seems that if you do otherwise, then "today" would be much happier. This is the obsession with the past; positive moments in life are no longer valued. real life. It seems that there is no way to change the situation for the better. No time should be wasted on gloomy thoughts. It is better to think about how to get what is so lacking.

The habit of competing with others. And in the end, look for reasons for grief literally out of the blue. For example, it is normal to be nervous about money if there is a real need. Well, if the dream was disturbed only because the neighbors have more expensive repairs, then the level of prosperity has nothing to do with it. This only testifies to the fact that one must certainly be "no worse than others." So you can compare anything: victories on the personal front, income, education, appearance, and even the number of friends. At the same time, the joy of one's own successes is depreciated and does not last long. There will always be someone more successful, prettier or just younger. You need to get out of this endless race and focus only on yourself.

The certainty that you will have to pay for good things. It often seems to such people that today's happiness cannot be eternal, sooner or later they will have to pay somehow. Therefore, in any positive moment negativity is sought out so as not to rejoice too much. But happiness is not a marketable commodity. There are white stripes in life, sometimes she throws up black ones, but it's not about retribution at all. Just the world far from ideal. Only man can decide, enjoy in happy moment"here and now" or spoil everything with superstitious experiences.

First of all, you should clearly know what exactly you want to change. Many people experience a stupor when trying to answer this question. Most often, vague and lengthy attempts to explain the essence of the accumulated endless problems follow. If you listen to such people, it is difficult to understand them.

You need to be able to identify your needs, do not be shy to admit to yourself your desires. At first glance, they may seem impossible. But you should not give up and give up quickly, as any dream tends to come true. Therefore, it is necessary to set a goal and systematically move towards it.

Important: A person cannot change his lifestyle if he focuses on imaginary problems. If there is no reference point, then it is useless to act.

Know how to be happy and love

Almost everyone subconsciously learns to make plans for the coming day. Many people live in a routine and forget how you can enjoy the basic everyday things. You have to be able to be happy. You should find positive moments in every, even a small event, enjoy your close surroundings.

If you watch any child, you can see how he rejoices in elementary trifles and thereby develops positive energy. This is what an adult should do. Going out of town, to the river, attending interesting events or a concert - all this forms a happy harmonious life. You have to do what you like.

Note: It is important to learn to love. If you talk to your loved ones about how dear they are, do not skimp on good and good words, then you can get a powerful charge of positive energy in return for the given one. We must try to be open, and then a positive energy exchange is ensured.

It's never too late to change for the better

You can change your life at any age. It doesn’t matter how long you live - 30, 40, and even 60. To understand the meaning of a happy existence is an achievement. wise man. And wisdom comes to everyone at different ages.

You can't put a cross on yourself. Thoughts that it’s already over 40, it’s too late to change and change anything, let everything remain as it is, you need to drive away. While the heart is beating and this eye sees beautiful world, you can start to change your personal world.

Take risks and quit your hated job, retrain, finally start doing what you love! There is a wonderful phrase: "Do what you love, and you will not have to work a day ...". What is done with pleasure and with soul, a priori should bring income. Let not fabulous, but sufficient.

Break bad habits

In order to feel the fullness of being, consciousness must be pure. Now everything more people give up smoking and alcohol. Nobody minds a glass good wine during the dinner. We are talking about libations that interfere with life, work, love and serve as a destructive catalyst. When there is such a problem, then you need to get rid of it. Sometimes, this is very difficult. But they cope with addictions if there is a great desire and willpower.

Life is able to sparkle with new colors when victory over bad habit. It is possible that you may need the help of a specialist, but if the decision is made, then you should not be shy and consult a doctor.

Travel and study other cultures

Traveling is a great pleasure. Life becomes fuller and richer when new countries are opened to the gaze and there is an opportunity to explore new culture. Each country has a lot of its own characteristics and local color. With what interest you can absorb and learn, meet new people. If you have a passion for travel, then learning the language of the visited country will be an important point.

Learning languages ​​is not easy, but very entertaining. Broadening one's horizons is always useful and interesting.

If it is not possible to travel to distant exotic countries, then the neighboring region is quite suitable. It is always interesting to visit places that were not previously possible to visit.

Self-development and meditation

Important, but modern world It can be said that the fundamental point is self-improvement. This is the path to yourself and self-knowledge.

You can start with an evening home meditation. They do it in a dim room, alone, you can light candles and incense, turn on relaxing music. Sit or lie down, close your eyes and try to distract yourself from all pressing problems and thoughts. It's not easy at all. You should try to sit without a single thought for at least a few minutes. If thought forms do appear, then they are observed as if from the outside, without being involved in the process of thinking. If you repeat this every day, the result will not be long in coming.

What's the point? When all the daily “husks” are swept out of the head, then the moment of truth comes. After some time, after several meditations, an answer will suddenly come to a certain question that has been tormenting for a long time, or the solution of a long-standing problem will illuminate.

Meditation is also good for relaxing before bed.

Video: How to learn to meditate. Practice for beginners

Thoughts are material

It is very important to think positively. Life is unlikely to bring pleasant surprises if negative thinking prevails. It has long been proven that even those who fall ill with disappointing diagnoses are able to recover thanks to certain positive attitudes.

You need to become a source of inspiration not only for yourself, but also for those around you. You should tune your internal "processor" to a multifaceted exciting game. With its difficulties, turns, but also triumphs. The more difficult the victory is, the more precious it is. Changing your being, making it an interesting journey is great. Life is an adventure. This is how you should treat her and not be afraid to leave your comfort zone. After all, in order to get something that was not there before, you need to do something that has not been done before. So be bold!

Breathe correctly. In fact, not everyone knows how to breathe properly. All adults breathe chest, but the children - the stomach. And it is right. All bodily energy is concentrated in the lower abdomen. And she needs to circulate properly. If there is a stagnation of energy, then the person begins to feel overwhelmed and tired. It is worth trying to breathe with your stomach: when you inhale, it should inflate, and when you exhale, it should be drawn in. If you practice this constantly, then such breathing will become habitual, and your health will improve, as a result, the quality of life will rise.

Correct sleep. It's no secret that the key to a successful and fruitful day begins with a cheerful morning. To do this, you need to get enough sleep, and quality. Try to fit in at the same time. Let it be not early, but by the hour. The body will begin to prepare itself for sleep, if it is accustomed. Forget what insomnia is. The room must be ventilated.

Cold and hot shower. In the morning, ideally, accustom the body to a contrast shower. This is a great charge for the whole day ahead. After such an “execution”, the blues will disappear, all dull thoughts will disappear away. There will be a desire to live and conquer new peaks.

Color mindset- a little secret from psychologists. Not everyone knows that color and certain combinations of it can directly shape the mood. Especially if the person is emotionally unstable. An experiment should be done. Make time for this. Organize your wardrobe and try on all your frequently worn items. After the next dress is put on, you should listen to yourself and analyze what emotions come. One can argue that if you try on a red dress and stilettos, then even an insecure person will feel, if not a star, then definitely much more confident than usual. In case of increased nervousness, you can try an outfit in muted beige colors or a soft cashmere sweater.

Don't forget about rest. The day started well, the state is to move mountains! Do not forget about small breaks during a busy working day. Even in case of emergency, you can turn off for a few minutes, close your eyes slightly, breathe deeply (with your stomach), at this time try to get rid of all thoughts - let your head be empty. It will turn out a short-term meditation, and this is an excellent tool in order to reboot the body.

Smile as often as possible and be polite. In order to improve life and its quality, there is a remedy for the opposite - do not wait for the world to turn around with open arms, but try to give the world your warmth. No need to spoil your mood and nerves in traffic jams in the morning. Even a little rudeness can be answered gently and with a smile. The boor will misfire, most likely, he will be uncomfortable. If you get involved in all the skirmishes, then negative energy envelops and will accompany throughout the day.

Learn anytime, anywhere. To make life better, it's never too late to sit down at the desk again. Even if you already have a basic education and a good job, but an unfulfilled dream lives in your soul, it is never too late to try to realize it. It is quite possible that the first part of life was successful in the field of wholesale sales, and the writing talent was only timidly making its way all this time. You have to persevere and try.

Live "here and now". The most important piece of advice. We must try to learn to live consciously. What it is? Every action should be lived with gusto. Whether it's enjoying the beautiful sea view or washing dishes. Yes Yes exactly! Any action carries a certain energy, and if you do something reluctantly, then clots of negativity will accumulate in the body, which in the best way affect his condition.

Time tends to fly at breakneck speed. If you don’t like something, you don’t need to slow down and invent non-existent obstacles for yourself. We must take risks and destroy what does not suit us. Do not regret the past, because it is an experience. It will become the foundation for something beautiful and new. The main thing is not to delay, but to start right now. Not tomorrow, not from Monday, but now!

Video: Recommendations from psychologist and coach Brian Tracy: “Change your mindset if you want to change your life!”

Programmer, investor and entrepreneur James Altucher, who has already launched several startups, published a very simple, useful and honest guide on TechCrunch for those who want to radically change their field of activity, but do not know where to start. Below is a translation of this article.

Here's the deal: I've been at zero a few times, come back to life a few times, I've done it over and over again. I started new careers. The people who knew me then don't know me now. And so on.

I started my career from scratch several times. Sometimes - because my interests changed. Sometimes - because all the bridges were burned without a trace, and sometimes because I desperately needed money. And sometimes it was because I hated everyone at my previous job or they hated me.

There are other ways to reinvent yourself, so take my words with a grain of salt. This is what worked in my case. I've seen it work for about a hundred other people. From interviews, from letters that have been written to me over the past 20 years. You can try - or not.

1. Change never ends

Every day you rediscover yourself. You are always on the move. But every day you decide where exactly you are moving: forward or backward.

2. Start with a clean slate

All your past labels are just vanity. Have you been a doctor? An Ivy League graduate? Owned millions? Did you have a family? Nobody cares. You have lost everything. You are zero. Don't try to say that you are more than that.

3. You need a mentor

Otherwise, you will go under. Someone has to show you how to move and breathe. But don't worry about looking for a mentor (see below).

4. Three types of mentors

Straight. Someone who is ahead of you, who will show you how he got it. What does "this" mean? Wait. By the way, the mentors don't look like Jackie Chan's character in The Karate Kid. Most mentors will hate you.

Indirect. Books. Movies. You can get 90% of the instructions from books and other materials. 200-500 books equate to a good mentor. When people ask me, “What is a good book to read?” - I do not know what to answer them. There are 200–500 good books which are worth reading. I would turn to inspirational books. Whatever you believe in, strengthen your beliefs with daily reading.

Anything can be a mentor. If you are nobody and want to re-create yourself, everything you look at can become a metaphor for your desires and goals. The tree that you see, with roots that cannot be seen, and groundwater, which feed it, is a metaphor for programming, if you connect the separate points together. And everything you look at will "connect the dots".

5. Don't Worry If Nothing Excites You

You care about your health. Start with it. Take small steps. You don't need passion to succeed. Do your job with love, and success will become a natural symptom.

6. Time it takes to reinvent yourself: five years

Here is a description of those five years.

Year 1: You wallow and read everything and just start doing something.

Year 2: You know who you need to talk to and keep working with. You do something every day. You finally understand what the map of your own game of Monopoly looks like.

Third year: You are good enough to start making money. But so far, perhaps not enough to earn a living.

Fourth year: You provide for yourself well.

Year 5: You make a fortune.

Sometimes I got frustrated in the first four years. I asked myself, "Why hasn't this happened yet?" - He beat his fist on the wall and broke his arm. It's okay, just keep going. Or stop and choose a new field of activity. It doesn't matter. Someday you will die, and then it will be really difficult to change.

7. If you do it too fast or too slow, then something is wrong.

A good example is Google.

8. It's not about the money

But money is a good measure. When people say, "It's not about the money," they need to be sure they have some other unit of measure. "How about just doing what you love?" There will be many days ahead when you don't like what you do. If you do it from pure love, it will take much more than five years. Happiness is just a positive reaction from your brain. Some days you will be unhappy. Your brain is just a tool, it does not define who you are.

9. When can you say, "I'm doing X"? When does X become your new profession?

10. When can I start doing X?

Today. If you want to paint, buy a canvas and paints today, start buying 500 books one by one and paint pictures. If you want to write, do the following three things:

Read

If you want to start your own business, start coming up with an idea for a business. Rebuilding yourself starts today. Every day.

11. When will I earn money?

In a year, you will put 5,000-7,000 hours into this business. That's good enough to put you in the top 200-300 in the world in any major. Getting into the top 200 almost always provides a livelihood. By the third year, you will understand how to make money. By the fourth - you will be able to increase turnover and provide for yourself. Some stop there.

12. By year 5 you will be in the top 30-50 so you can make a fortune

13. How to determine what is mine?

Any area in which you are able to read 500 books. Go to the bookstore and find her. If after three months you get bored, go to the bookstore again. Getting rid of illusions is normal, this is the meaning of defeat. Success is better than failure, but the most important lessons come from failure. Very important: do not rush. For my interesting life you can change yourself many times over. And fail many times. It's fun too. These attempts will turn your life into a story book, not a textbook. Some people want their life to be a textbook. Mine is a story book, good or bad. Therefore, changes occur every day.

14. The decisions you make today will be in your biography tomorrow.

Make interesting decisions and you will have an interesting biography.

15. The decisions you make today will become part of your biology.

16. What if I like something exotic? Biblical archeology or 11th century wars?

Repeat the above steps and by the fifth year you will be rich. We don't know how. There is no need to look for the end of the path when you are only taking the first steps.

17. What if my family wants me to become an accountant?

How many years of your life did you promise to give to your family? Ten? All life? Then wait for the next life. You choose.

Choose freedom, not family. Freedom, not prejudice. Freedom, not government. Freedom, not the satisfaction of other people's requests. Then you will satisfy yours.

18. My mentor wants me to follow his path.

This is fine. Learn his way. Then do it your way. Sincerely.

Luckily no one puts a gun to your head. Then you would have to comply with his demands until he lowers the gun.

19. My husband (wife) is worried: who will take care of our children?

A person who changes himself always finds free time. Part of changing yourself is finding moments and reshaping them the way you would like to use them.

20. What if my friends think I'm crazy?

What are these friends?

21. What if I want to be an astronaut?

It's not about changing yourself. This is a specific profession. If you like space, there are many professions. Richard Branson wanted to be an astronaut and created Virgin Galactic.

22. What if I enjoy drinking and hanging out with friends?

Read this post again in a year.

23. And if I'm busy? Am I cheating on my spouse or betraying my partner?

Read this post again in two or three years, when you are broke, out of work, and everyone will turn their backs on you.

24. What if I can't do anything at all?

Read point 2 again.

25. What if I don't have a diploma or it's useless?

Read point 2 again.

26. What if I need to focus on paying off a mortgage or other loan?

Read point 19 again.

27. Why do I always feel like an outsider?

Albert Einstein was an outsider. No one in authority would have hired him. Everyone feels like an impostor sometimes. Greatest creativity born out of skepticism.

28. I can't read 500 books. Name one book to read for inspiration

Then you can immediately give up.

29. What if I'm too sick to change myself?

The change will boost the production of beneficial substances in your body: serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin. Move forward, and you may not get well at all, but you will get healthier. Don't use health as an excuse.

Finally, rebuild your health first. Sleep more. Eat better. Go in for sports. These are the key steps to change.

30. What if my partner set me up and I'm still suing him?

Drop the lawsuit and never think about him again. Half the problem was you.

31. And if they put me in jail?

Wonderful. Re-read point 2. Read more books in prison.

32. And if I'm a timid person?

Make weakness your strength. Introverts are better at listening and concentrating, they know how to arouse sympathy.

33. What if I can't wait five years?

If you plan to stay alive in five years, you can start today.

34. How to make contacts?

Build concentric circles. You must be in the middle. The next circle is friends and family. Then there are online communities. Then - people whom you know from informal meetings and tea parties. Then - conference participants and opinion leaders in their field. Then there are mentors. Then - customers and those who make money. Start making your way through these circles.

35. What if my ego gets in the way of what I do?

After six months or a year, you will return to point 2.

36. What if I am passionate about two things at once? And I can't choose?

Combine them and you will be the best in the world for this combination.

37. What if I'm so passionate that I want to teach others what I'm learning myself?

Read lectures on YouTube. Start with a one-person audience and see if it grows.

38. What if I want to earn money in my sleep?

In the fourth year, start outsourcing what you do.

39. How to find mentors and experts?

Once you have accumulated enough knowledge (after 100-200 books), write 10 ideas for 20 different potential mentors.

None of them will answer you. Write 10 more ideas for 20 new mentors. Repeat this every week.

40. What if I can't come up with ideas?

Then practice it. The mental muscles tend to atrophy. They need to be trained.

It will be difficult for me to reach my toes if I don't exercise every day. I have to do this exercise every day for some time before this posture comes easily to me. Don't expect good ideas from day one.

42. What if I do everything you say, but it still doesn't seem to work?

It will turn out. Just wait. Keep changing yourself every day.

Don't try to find the end of the path. You can't see it in the fog. But you can see the next step, and you will understand that if you take it, you will eventually reach the end of the path.

43. What if I start feeling down?

Sit in silence for an hour a day. You need to get back to your core.

If you think this sounds stupid, don't do it. Move on with your depression.

44. And if there is no time to sit in silence?

Then sit in silence for two hours a day. This is not meditation. You just have to sit.

45. And if I get scared?

Sleep 8-9 hours a night and never gossip. Sleep is the first secret to good health. Not the only one, but the first. Some people write to me that four hours of sleep is enough for them, or that in their country those who sleep a lot are considered lazy. These people will fail and die young.

When it comes to gossip, our brains are biologically programmed to have 150 friends. And when you hang out with one of your friends, you can gossip about one of the other 150 friends. And if you don't have 150 friends, then the brain will want to read gossip magazines until it looks like it has 150 friends.

Don't be as stupid as your brain.

46. ​​And if everything seems to me that I will never succeed?

Practice gratitude for 10 minutes a day. Don't suppress your fear. Notice your anger.

But also allow yourself to be grateful for what you have. Anger never inspires, but gratitude never inspires. Gratitude is the bridge between your world and the parallel universe where all creative ideas live.

47. And if I constantly have to deal with some kind of personal squabbles?

Find other people to be around.

A person who changes himself will constantly meet people who try to suppress him. The brain is afraid of change - it can be unsafe. Biologically, the brain wants you to be safe, and change is a risk. So your brain will give you people trying to stop you.

Learn to say no.