Personal opinion is a sign of a strong personality. How to form your opinion

The ability to stand your ground is highly valued in the business world. The ability to defend one's point of view, as well as to convince others of one's own rightness, is the quality of a leader who does not want to be led by other people's desires, but wants other people to do his will. If such people did not know how to insist on their own, then it is possible that today we would not see so many bright products from Apple, and perhaps this office would not exist at all. The ability to defend one's point of view means in many ways not to succumb to manipulations and techniques from the psychology of influence. When you defend your opinion, you take responsibility for yourself and your life in your own hands, and do not go with the flow.

Standing up for one's point of view can mean disagreeing with what everyone else agrees with and always looking at everything critically. It doesn't mean slamming your fist on the table every chance you get and yelling like crazy. But this means not to be offended and to have an independent view of people, events and phenomena.

It is possible that the series "Doctor House" is just attracted by the fact that in it the protagonist has an opinion on everything and generally does a lot of things that each of us would be afraid to do. At the same time, he is valued and respected for this, and tolerated, because. his course of action saves people.

How to defend your opinion

A risky tactic that I personally use is simply a physical boycott of your interlocutor. When my ex-girlfriend started eating my brain out of the blue, I just physically left, not wanting to listen to all this nonsense. It didn't look too masculine. But this is much better than waiting for the moment when I, with my balanced character, eventually explode and lose control of myself. The method works great for both bosses and work colleagues. You just put a bolt on them all. For example, you write a letter of resignation. In such cases, sometimes it is possible to knock out amazingly favorable conditions for the work schedule while maintaining the same salary. When those around you break out in cold sweat and they understand that you are not joking and you really can throw everything to hell no matter what, they begin to treat you more carefully, I understand that this person has it and he will stop at nothing . Something like this is written in the personal file in the military registration and enlistment office that I am "on my own mind." But what I do at work is not for everyone. I have had occasion to yell at my own boss and bring colleagues to hysterics. Frankly speaking, all this does not always work productively. And what do psychologists say about how to defend your opinion?

The first thing to understand is that you should have your own opinion and should not allow someone else's opinion to be imposed. Regardless of whether the surrounding colleagues support you or not, you have your own head on your shoulders and you should not agree to everything that they try to impose on you. Often there is a crowd effect when people look at each other and do "like everyone else." I had a case when the whole group had to come to the university to work out. We came, but what exactly to do - they promised to tell us only after one pair (!). People began to resent and go home. At the same time, I said that I would stay and do everything myself. Tell the rest to go home. As a result, almost the entire group stayed with me and spent a subbotnik at the department. Sometimes you need to have the courage to take the first step and do what you think is right, and then you will be supported (although this is not always the case).
The ability to insist on one's own means also the ability say a firm "no". You have had cases when you were asked for something, you agreed to it (without much thought), and then it turned out that keeping the promise turned out to be a burden and interferes with your own plans. Once I took over for a colleague on a Saturday morning. In response, I did not wait for someone to replace me personally. I did not receive any benefit for myself or gratitude. Paradoxical, isn't it? We have the right to say a firm no, we have the right not to answer unnecessary phone calls, we have the right to choose, and we also have the right to ask for what we need. Moreover, we have full right on the independent solutions regardless of what others think.
Someone's mind about you or what you do shouldn't bother you too much even if it is expressed in swear words (this is often the case with popular video bloggers). The other person is also entitled to their opinion and may have reasons to think differently about something. However, this is just his opinion about it, it will not necessarily be correct even if this opinion is expressed by an authoritative person. If you are still influenced by someone else's opinion, then you should think about whether this influence is useful and maybe you can read our material about that.
When you defend your idea is a great opportunity to formulate it succinctly and weigh the pros and cons yourself. Plus, listen to constructive criticism from other people. After all, you may hear from other people more sensible proposals on a deprecated issue. Truth can indeed be born in a dispute. On the other hand, it may happen that the other side agrees with your point of view. Having run your idea in various discussions and disputes, you get it in a clearer form and it becomes more mature and meaningful.
In order to defend your point of view, you need to pump your communication skills. Simply put, you need to learn how to communicate with other people. There are many cases when a person is not even able to put together a few words or has problems with intelligibility of speech and rhetoric. Everything is important - and what exactly we say, as well as in what manner we present it. We are treated the way we deserve. When arguing with another person, you need to remain calm and respect the other side. Otherwise, it can get out of control and nothing constructive as a result will simply come out, psychologists say. In defending your point of view, you need initiative, as well as self-control.
Learn the psychology of influence. There are interesting books on this subject. For example, Robert Cialdini's books "The Psychology of Influence". People have some unconscious points, by pressing on which we can influence them in our interests. The same thing can happen to you as well. You may be tested on various cunning ways of persuasion, which you can succumb to. But when you are familiar with these methods of persuasion, then these methods of manipulation will no longer work on you. In any case, you will be aware that you are being pressured in cunning ways. To defend your point of view, it is also advisable to find out a little information about your colleague with whom you are arguing. Each person has a slightly different psychology and values.
Psychologists recommend using special argumentation technologies. For example, in rhetoric, a method is used when you constantly agree with the ideas of the opponent, and then suddenly cross out all his above thoughts with the help of one, but very strong argument. There is another technique when the interlocutor is led to such answers that he constantly answers “Yes”. Research shows that when a person agrees with you several times on minor issues, it becomes much easier to bring him to his point of view on more serious issues. You can also search the net for other methods, such as the "turning" method and the "salami" method.
Defending your opinion, you need to understand when to do it openly, and when it is inappropriate. Moreover, you need to understand what issues should be discussed at all, and what will be bad manners. Moreover, you need to observe decency in a dispute and know exactly how to build objections so that the environment perceives you normally and understands your arguments. You should not say something on emotions, as you can say a lot of superfluous things.
During collisions with the interlocutor, he may be wrong three times and completely disagree with you. However, he himself, most likely, believes that he is right. Instead of throwing accusations at him, you should at least try to put yourself in his place and understand why he holds the opposite opinion. Perhaps something happened to him in the past, which he is very afraid of, or maybe it’s not so important for him what is important for you?
We must be prepared for the fact that we not even the closest will understand people. This is fine. In the same way, you may not find support in a team or circle of friends. We are all different and everyone has their own idea of what life should be like. You shouldn't be offended by them. They probably want to save you from the mistakes that they themselves went through. Before brushing aside their criticisms, one should try to understand them too. But do it anyway.
Even if you failed to convince the interlocutor of your point of view, don't lose face and be hysterical. There is also no need to get angry or show your psycho about it. The consequences of such behavior can reach a complete break in relations, which is not always reasonable. The best thing is to show calmness, to beat not with emotions, but with arguments. In case they agreed with your opinion, just thank your colleague for listening and hearing you.

The best confirmation of your point of view

Defending your opinion in words is useful. Banging the table with your fist is no longer fashionable and not very beautiful. At the same time, nothing convinces people like real actions. Practice shows that the initiative and real steps towards the goal have a much stronger effect on people than words. And even if something doesn’t work out for you in the end, you can safely say that you at least tried.

If you often rely on other people's opinions, know that everyone has their own tastes, values, character, and what is good for others does not always suit you. Therefore it is worth have your own opinion and rely on it. Consider the following tips, they will help you stand up for your opinion!

So, how to learn to defend your opinion:

1. Gain confidence

I think you know what to say and defend one's opinion often quite difficult. In order to defend your opinion, you need self-confidence and a strong character.

So that fear does not force you to hide behind the backs of more confident colleagues, you you need to know and understand your strengths and weak sides and be able to use them.
It happens that you do not quite understand the topic where you want to express your point of view. Fill the knowledge gap you will be helped by those who are well versed in this area, and you will be able to argue your personal opinion.
If you have a temper never express your opinion rashly- you can hurt yourself. Cool down and think, perhaps you will have a different point of view on the problem.
If someone imposes their opinion on you, think well whether it is worth agreeing. It is possible that you do not take someone else's advice just because you want to go against the grain, in which case you will only hurt yourself.

2. Trust your feelings

We've all been wrong about other people and it's very frustrating. If you completely rely on someone else's opinion when you get to know a person, this is a mistake. Thus, you can refuse a relationship with a person who in the future could become your true friend or loved one.

To learn to understand people, you you need to see a person as a whole with all the advantages and disadvantages. You can accept him for who he is and avoid unnecessary disappointments.
If a friend speaks unflatteringly about your loved one, ask why she thinks so. It is possible that those shortcomings of your beloved that your girlfriend does not accept are insignificant for you. If a friend turns out to be right, and over time you will be disappointed in your once beloved person, do not be upset. After all everyone makes mistakes sometimes. In any case, trust your own intuition!

3. Stand up for your point of view

Surely among your acquaintances there are people who literally force you to accept their point of view. Don't agree!

Ask the interlocutor why he believes that his opinion is the only true one. Then talk about your motives and goals, but do not forget to show interest in the opinion of the interlocutor. When discussing a problem, speak to the point, argue your words.
Often a person begins to behave aggressively, when they actively impose their opinion on him, he screams, scandals. This will lead to only one unpleasant consequence - a break in relations. So this is not the way to behave. Refuse calmly and with dignity, without offending anyone.
Be sure to thank for the advice when you refuse. It is very important for people when they listen to their opinion, even if they do not act as they advised. But still, sometimes it’s worth listening to someone else’s opinion, it is possible that it’s not others who are mistaken, but you.

The world is full various people, each of which is an individuality, personality. allow us have your own opinion sometimes even different from the opinions of the majority.

Good or bad: have your own opinion in a team, society, family, social group? Let's start from the opposite.

Often there are situations in life when someone else's opinion is imposed on us. A person who does not have his own opinion will meekly put up with such a situation; people who are afraid to express their opinion will perhaps be indignant in their hearts, but will not object to anything out loud.

And only those who are accustomed have own opinion and to express it in a timely manner, will not follow the lead of someone else's opinion if it contradicts his personal interests.

This is good example the benefits of your own opinion. It is necessary to defend personal interests, but it can also bring collective benefits.

So, in business, more than one person is often involved, each of which is the bearer of a personal opinion. can be made, for example, a proposal to act according to a plan similar to the actions of competitors.

But you have a different opinion on this matter. You think that it would be much more profitable to do otherwise. If you express your opinion, you will bring undoubted benefit to the common cause. Well, if you keep silent, then you will silently watch how your business is moving along the wrong path.

Even if you do not belong to the leading persons in the enterprise, your personal opinion can benefit the entire company. Leaders are people too, which means they can make mistakes.

If you find a clear error in the calculations or plans of the management, which may adversely affect the functioning of the company, then it is better to express your opinion in a delicate form to the authorities. If you are afraid to do this directly with the boss, then you can contact his deputies or assistants.

Often it is necessary not only to express one's own opinion, but also to defend it, because there will always be those who want to refute it, recognize it as unviable.

For such a confrontation, you will need the ability to argue, correctly, logically and consistently bring reasonable, objective arguments for your rightness.

It should not be based on emotions, and here you should not rely on possible, conjectural constructions: “It seems to me”, “Probably”, “Maybe”, “Most likely”.

Your opinion should have a main, clearly formulated thesis (main idea), and you should always have weighty arguments ready to support the thesis.

Imagine that you are running a political election campaign and telling the audience about the benefits of living in a state with your direct political participation.

Express your opinion in such a way that it becomes understandable, accessible to all opponents, and most importantly - so that its performance, functionality, and practical significance are reliably understood.

But my own opinion has back side. If your opinion turns out to be wrong in the end, and it is pointed out to you, then be honest with yourself and others and admit your own mistakes.

There is absolutely nothing shameful about this. Wise is not the one who shouts at every corner that he is the smartest, but who is reasonable in everything, including in recognizing the wrongness of his actions, deeds, opinions.

Today have your own opinion it is necessary for everyone, whether it be a businessman, a politician or just a student, a housewife.

People who follow the public stamps, stereotypes, fashion lose their true appearance, individuality, merging into numerous masses of the same type of crowd. . This makes our world beautiful in its diversity.

I often hear about how important it is to have your own opinion regarding almost all issues, even those in which a person thinks absolutely nothing. This is what we call freedom, which we all supposedly need. In fact, not many people need this, and those who nevertheless express their opinion, as a rule, have a specific goal, the essence of which is to influence a person in order to force him to act in his own interests. But about everything in order, according to the correct arrangement of thoughts, in which we will find out with you whether you need your opinion and, if necessary, why. To begin with, I want to tell you that I have nothing against you having your own opinion. It's good when you think with your head and try to look at everything with your own eyes, and do not take other people's thoughts and ideas on faith. However, expressing your opinion is already a completely different matter, in which you already begin to influence other people in a certain way, in any case, you are making an attempt to do so. Well, you have your own opinion, so what? Why say it, for what purpose?

Imagine a married couple and, say, one of their children, who, let's say, will be ten years old. On the day off, the family is going to have a great time together, for which they need to decide how they will actually spend it. At the same time, each family member may have his own opinion regarding this, the father wants to go fishing, the mother will go to visit, and the child may want to take a walk in the park and ride the rides. And what will happen if they all begin to express their opinion on how best to spend the day off, without insisting on their point of view, but it seems like just like that? Just as you yourself understand, nothing happens, and on the one hand, defending your point of view will lead to conflict, or someone will have to abandon their plans, that is, sacrifice their opinion and their desire, which this opinion promotes, in favor of the world and consent.

Moreover, here it may be that a more powerful family member can simply force the rest to do as he wants, which in turn makes it meaningless to have his own opinion, which is simply unable to translate his desire into reality, which underlies his opinions. And defending one's point of view, which will lead to conflict, is somehow not relevant for a family that should be friendly. In this way, it turns out that it seems to be useful to have your own opinion, but without being able to defend your interests, it is pointless to express it, if only. For example, if in the above family, someone decides to defend their point of view on how the family should spend the weekend, and at the same time not call conflict situation, or a feeling of oppression among those whose point of view will be left without attention, as well as a possible impact on a family member who has more power, then he needs to convince others of the correctness of his decision, to put it forward as the only true one.

In addition, this can be presented as a decision that the rest of the family members sort of came up with on their own, you just formulated it final version, according to which, only right decision, there will be a solution that reflects exactly your interests. Of course, only a smart and cunning family member can do this, which is why I cited as an example a child who will be forced to obey, or it is pointless to express his dissatisfaction, despite the fact that he was allowed to express his opinion, but at the same time spit on his desire. Of course, parents can be more loyal to their child, and sometimes do as he wants, but at the same time, it is obvious that adults will not follow his lead, this is simply stupid and will not lead to anything good. You can increase the scale of this family to the size you need, the meaning of this will not change. You can thus look at any team, at the country, and at the world, the essence is the same.

Your opinion is meaningless precisely when you express it, without a clear hope that they will listen to it, that is, if it is not able to influence or you are not able to defend your point of view, forcing everyone to agree with it and therefore act in your interests. Why do people argue, defending their point of view, why is it so important for them to convince others to think this way and not otherwise? After all, the spoken word is always aimed at the material embodiment, otherwise it would not make sense to speak it. However, only an unconsciously living person can claim that he is saying something just like that, expressing his opinion, because he has the right to do so, and again he just needs to show people that they are mistaken. In general, it doesn’t matter how a person argues for expressing his opinion and convincing others in it, since he either has a goal and does not recognize it, or he himself does not understand what he is doing and why, that is, he does not understand how his opinion is connected with his interests.

One thing is obvious, a friendly family can only be if everyone adheres to one opinion, one point of view, and not to pull the blanket in their own direction, everyone has heard the fable about the swan, cancer and pike. So do you need your opinion, my friends, which of your interests do you want to realize through influence on other people, if you decide to actively express your opinion? If you do not see such goals and you just want to tell others what you think about this or that event, person, decision, and so on, congratulations, you are one of the ninety-nine percent of the population living an unconscious life. It is this figure that psychologists are talking about, as they thought, I don’t know, but they are probably right, because even I can confirm this by assessing most of the people with whom I had a chance to communicate.

In one of the previous articles () we talked about how important it is to be able to respect someone else's position, someone else's point of view, but at the same time not give up your own. But in order to keep your opinion, not to lose it among hundreds and thousands of others, you must first form and build it. Today we will talk about how you can build and strengthen a personal opinion.

It is easy to guess that our personal view on a certain issue is built in the process of gaining experience. We experience some situations in life, analyze, draw conclusions, and from this we get some kind of conclusion, a result. A simple example.

You went to an exhibition of paintings by an artist you do not know. You liked his work in general, something left you indifferent, something you didn’t like. These emotions will be the main building blocks for make up your mind about the work of this artist. And if you are asked what you think about it, you will have something to answer. For example, that you like the work in general, but there are some paintings that are incomprehensible or even unpleasant.

important in similar cases do not confuse opinion and your desire to think a certain way. A view of the situation cannot be formed just because you yourself wanted to build just such a point of view. It is formed on the basis of experience and inference. An opinion taken from the ceiling is in fact not much different from a simple whim. “I want to think so” and “I think so” are different concepts.

What are you talking about?

To build your opinion, you need to clearly understand the subject on which it is built. Moreover, the deeper you penetrate into the essence of the issue, the more complete and flexible your point of view will be.

On the same example of an exhibition of paintings. In each particular picture, you can specify what you liked, why, what you didn’t like. You can break the entire exhibition into blocks (for yourself) and say that, for example, still life paintings are not bright enough, as you thought. Portraits in general are very interesting, but a certain work turned out to be the most expressive due to the realistic transfer of the mood of the person from whom the portrait was painted, with the help of an emphasis on the look, eyes.

A deeper insight into the issue and emphasized specificity (you are talking about something specific, and not in a blurry abstract in general) will help you make up your mind who will be respected and listened to carefully. Because you will know what you are talking about. And this is appreciated in any conversation. Your position will be respected as it is specific but profound.

How do you say?

Have own opinion is a sign strong personality. But, excuse me, man is a bio-SOCIAL being. And no matter how self-sufficient he may be, he needs to establish himself in society. Yes, and we need our own opinion in order not to get lost, to highlight our individuality in society. And for this purpose, it is not enough to have a firm point of view, you must also be able to express it.

Before expressing your opinion, you need to clearly define the concepts with which you are going to operate. And if you want to be heard, then try to choose words that are understandable to your interlocutor. If you talk with the artist about biochemistry, and even scientific terms, it's unlikely to make any sense. The interlocutor simply will not understand not only your position, but in general the question as a whole will remain beyond the scope of understanding for him.

In addition, you must initially find out whether you are talking about the same thing, otherwise your discussion will turn into a waste of time, or even worse, into an argument. Because you will prove different things to each other. For example, when discussing any technique, let's say columns, you will talk about the same manufacturer, but about different series of products, and it is quite natural that they have completely different parameters, and in this case you and your opponent simply cannot understand each other. Therefore, when starting a discussion, make sure that all participants in the conversation are talking about the same thing, and when they say “speakers”, everyone means the speakers, and not the speakers, for example.

It is perfectly logical to rely on indisputable facts when presenting your view. As mentioned above, personal opinion should not be taken “from the ceiling”, let the interlocutor understand that you have come to this conclusion through logical reasoning.

And one more important point. When expressing your opinion, respect the position of others. Explain so that people don't feel like you're trying to convince them, but so they understand that you're just sharing your thoughts with them.