How to live in harmony with yourself and the world? How to find inner harmony with yourself.

12 steps to live in harmony with yourself and the world around you

12 simple steps to be loved and respected even more.

1 First, love yourself.

How can you expect love from someone if you don't love yourself. Many people have a problem with this. But in fact, everything is much simpler. You just need to accept and love yourself for who you are.

2 Stop waiting for love from outside - give love yourself.

Radiate love from your heart. To do this, open the heart chakra. People will feel it and will be drawn to you like sunflowers to the sun. The key to your success is the right state, the state of love, harmony and friendliness.

Remember about balance - you get as much as you give time and energy to other people.

3 Become self-sufficient and slightly inaccessible.

Anyone who is in dire need of social interaction and encouragement gets bored very quickly. On the other hand, those who are self-sufficient and do not fawn over others, remaining moderately inaccessible, are more popular. Get rid of the importunity, otherwise people will brush you off like mosquitoes.

Judge for yourself - we quickly get bored with what is plentiful and what is cheap. Be like a good vintage wine - there is not much of it, but it is real and strong, and most importantly, it is expensive.

4 Behave naturally.

Would you sympathize, sincerely and closely communicate with a person who pretends to be God's dandelion or Zhigansky "macho", in a word of who he is not. All so cute, fluffy, but in fact smooth, cold and covered with scales? In a word, a werewolf in garlands.

If everything is in order with your head, then most likely it is unlikely.
So stop pretending. Be yourself. With all its advantages and disadvantages, this is normal and everyone has them. Most importantly, use your strengths, and develop the weak. Remember that all great people became great because they worked hard at it.

5 Be confident in yourself, develop personal strength.

When others feel low self-esteem in a person, they usually try to find a company with more self-confidence. If people understand that you are self-confident and radiate personal strength, and at the same time are ready to support and help them, they will want to be around you. How to develop personal strength you can find on our website.

6 Be consistent and holistic.

Live by your own rules and ideals. In the meantime, do what you say. Your words must match your behavior and actions. Be sincere, express your opinion openly and diplomatically. These people are respected and listened to.

7 Get more charismatic!

To be charismatic means to realize and use one's own uniqueness, to share one's gifts and talents with others. Develop and apply personal strength and leadership. For this there are special exercises and practices.

8 Be more positive, open and friendly.

If you want to be loved, love others yourself. Be polite, tactful and friendly to everyone. Develop interpersonal skills. Give more positivity. Be respectful and respectful to everyone around you, and even to your smaller brothers.

9 Watch your appearance.

Take care of your personal hygiene and the cleanliness of your clothes. Dress appropriately for the situation or occasion. Find your own style in clothes and appearance. If you respect yourself, care for yourself, and look after yourself, people will notice.

10 Surround yourself with what makes you happy.

Imagine that your body is like a sponge that absorbs everything around you. You can first fill yourself with happiness before you start giving it to others. Therefore, do and surround yourself with what you really like and bring joy and pleasure.

11 Have fun and relax.

When you are in the company of people, be calm and confident. Let others around you see that you are relaxed and happy, and not stressed and upset.
If people assume that you are moderately carefree and do not worry about trifles, they will want to be around you more than if they see that you are nervous at the slightest provocation.

12 Doso that your interlocutors feel comfortable with you.

Of course, it all depends on what is comfort for your interlocutor, and there are many nuances. Put in the extra effort to make the other person feel special with you. Everyone wants to feel special when they are around others, so keep that in mind.

Don't judge others for their mistakes and you will be less judged.

Change yourself to see these changes in your environment and throughout the world.
(One person can influence thousands of others with his transformation.)

Be happy and make others happy so that life is beautiful for those around you too.

Try to be funny and humorous. People love someone who can make them laugh heartily. However, be appropriate to the situation, sometimes you can do without humor, for example, when a person needs comfort.

If someone is crying, find out the reason for it, find out what happened, and how you could help him improve the situation.

Don't suck up to people if they give you hints to stay away from them. There are many other people who will gladly appreciate your jokes.

Don't yell at people, and stop telling them they're stupid and humiliating them if they don't understand something right away. Be patient with everyone.

Don't put yourself first all the time. Think of others, see how you can be helpful in their situations.

Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Please be honest. Try to stop using lies in your communication with others.

Save inner peace all the time, trying to avoid provocation and extinguish conflicts without bringing everything to a fight.
It directly depends on your internal state.

Work through all your internal conflicts and fears, and you will see how you will be treated completely differently.

Warnings

When the world around us is so unfair, when conflicts and failures happen, when we are annoyed by negative people, how can we feel happy? You must have asked yourself this many times. The truth is that we were taught to fight for a place in the sun, and that getting everything in life is possible only by making great efforts. And this is the biggest misconception. The correct answer, oddly enough, is closer than you think.

Be a good man means to be in harmony with oneself.
Discord is the need to be in harmony with others. ~ Oscar Wilde

Let's understand what it means to live in harmony with oneself, and how to come to this state of glorified harmony.

The truth is that in life there will always be victories and defeats, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Only now we ourselves choose how to react to all events in our life. For example, your girlfriend made a remark to you about the behavior of your partner. This is the same event as passing an exam. But we ourselves choose our reaction to this situation. We can get angry at a friend’s comment, offended, or simply thank for the opinion expressed. How does this usually happen to you? Do you tend to react immediately and emotionally, or do you think several steps ahead of your actions? We each have our own temperament. And no matter how hot your heart is, it's always worth trying one simple technique in a difficult situation.

Situation assessment exercise
Recall a situation in the past when you were upset.
Ask yourself: what exactly upset me?
And write down the answer.
Find three other possible responses to the same event that you could have chosen at that moment.

From this example, you already understand that harmony begins within us. And do not try to look outside for what is inside, in your soul and heart. Often we look for harmony outside in order to distract ourselves from the truthful reality. But the truth is that harmony can only be found within oneself. Finding harmony is not like buying a new car or getting married again. Harmony is inner peace, peace and joy that begins with us.

How do we deal with negative emotions?

Psychologists say that we tend to avoid negative emotions, transfer them to other people, suffer and endure. This behavior is our defense against difficulties we cannot handle.

When a woman believes that others will criticize her appearance, she may decide not to go to parties and dates. This is called avoidance.

When a woman is upset by the news and then she makes a mistake in her work, and in the end she blames the one who brought this bad news for the oversight. This is called transposition.

When a woman tries to “be good” always and for everyone, and puts her desires in second place, and then secretly blames herself for the lost opportunities. This is called suffering and patience.

By resorting to all of the above methods, we do not give ourselves the opportunity to grow and develop. We cannot bear the lessons that fate sends us. I suggest you try a more mindful approach.

How to use negative emotions to improve your life?

In general, in our society, emotions are considered a manifestation of weakness. And in vain! Emotions in human life exist for a reason. Positive emotions let us know that something useful for us is happening. Negative emotions are a signal that something is not going according to plan. It is important not only to get rid of them, to endure or shift to another, but to try to understand this signal and respond to it.

When something turns out to be emotionally unbearable, it can seem as if the emotions are turned off: the person no longer suffers, but he also does not truly rejoice, and over time there is a feeling that life is meaningless, or a feeling of tastelessness, living life in the absence of life.

Few people want to experience physical pain. However, when a person actually loses the ability to feel pain for some reason, he is in mortal danger. He will no longer withdraw his hand when it comes into contact with a hot object ... He no longer feels that a serious inflammation is starting ... Having broken his leg, he will continue to walk, tearing the bones inside ... In a word, without pain, he will not be able to respond to the danger to life in time ...

But what then to do with negative emotions? By avoiding them, we hide from the world and do not realize our potential. By using others to deal with them, we make those close to us suffer, and the rest just leave us. Suffering and enduring, we sacrifice our lives.

The alternative to these not-so-attractive options is to work internally with your emotions. You can do it yourself. To do this, you will only need to answer a few simple questions:

1. What specific emotions are unpleasant or cause suffering?
2. What exactly causes them.
3. What is happening that you can change?
4. What exactly do you want to achieve and how.
5. Take at least one action to the decision.

Such inner work will not only allow you to cope with negative emotions. It will change your life for the better and give you reason to be proud of your inner growth.

Principles of harmony with others:

Do not react to unpleasant events beyond your control.

It is not up to you to decide when it will rain or how the driver in the next lane will behave. Is there any point in getting upset when it rains? After all, you can make a cup of fragrant tea and read your favorite book under a warm blanket.

Thank fate, whatever it may be.

In any destiny there are joys, goodness, happiness and good luck. When you thank fate for obstacles and victories, life develops happily and you feel more confident. You will notice that you will get sick less, feel more confident, and most importantly, all problems with such a mood will be solved easier and easier. In any event that happens to us, there are bright sides. When I was 10 years old, I read Eleanor Porter's wonderful book Pollyanna. main character, whose mother died very early, came up with a game - to find something good in any event. Many years later, I learned that in psychology this technique is called reframing. I highly recommend reading the book or watching the movie.

Remember: you create your fortune with your thoughts and actions. You kind of strengthen your condition with them. When you make every small decision, take every step in harmony with yourself, you will live in harmony with yourself. Everything around will constantly change. Life will be difficult sometimes. People will upset you. This is how this world works. It's not in your power to change that. Sticking to your inner values, despite everything that happens, you will fall asleep peacefully.

You will need to put in a lot of effort to start listening to yourself. Try to follow a few tips:

Know what you want to be.

Make a list of the qualities you want to develop in yourself. Do you want to be kinder, more patient, wiser, calmer, more confident? How will you respond to difficulties in order to cultivate these traits? What principles and values ​​will you adhere to?

Let go of the desire to be perfect.

Our life will be much easier when we stop looking for confirmation of our goodness from others and do not strive to do everything perfectly, just to please. We punish ourselves for mistakes and get angry. Mistakes are our path. They will always be. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

Ask for forgiveness and goodbye

If you dealt with someone unfairly, do not wait - immediately ask for forgiveness. Correct your mistakes on the spot, and the fact that you made an effort to correct the situation will fill your heart with peace.

be patient

I can't express how much important quality. We live in a time when everything is accelerating. We have forgotten how to enjoy the moment and expect gifts of fate with anticipation. We want someone to change that hour, keeping up with us. We must learn to respect the individuality of each. It takes a few seconds for someone to realize a life lesson, for another it may take years. Take a deep breath when you are annoyed by the other person's reaction speed.

Rely on your heart and head

You will not be able to live in harmony when your thoughts are dominated by negative scenarios. Try to understand the other person's point of view, but don't judge. Radiate understanding, be kind, and expect the best outcome. This will not only help others, your self-esteem will rise.

Think long term

It is very difficult to lose your head in a fit of emotions. Think about how you will evaluate your act after such an attack. Do you congratulate yourself for such behavior? Will this decision give you peace of mind? If not, think twice about doing what you planned.

Appreciate yourself

You will not find harmony until you begin to appreciate yourself for all the good things. It is not enough to notice the good in other people and compliment them. Leave this important task to yourself.

It is important for every person live in harmony with yourself before reaching harmonious relationships and mutual understanding with other people.

But what to do if there is no agreement within yourself; how to learn to live harmony with yourself and the world?

How to live in harmony with yourself - a letter to a psychologist

Good afternoon! I turned to you, because want to understand what it is?

I am not in harmony with myself. Agree with yourself. I constantly think about how to behave in a given situation, uncertainty arises. There is no single path through life and self-understanding.

Perhaps, due to the fact that I constantly analyze actions in my head, “obsessive doubts” began to arise in my head (sometimes I can redo some trifle (unimportant) several times.) I can reread the same word several times, fearing that I misunderstood him.

I think about it and analyze what it is and why it has appeared for 1 year. Earlier 3 years ago, this also happened, but in small sizes. I didn't pay much attention to it.
And now it's all intensified and become more obvious. Until the age of 21, I did not notice such a disagreement in myself.

I have been working as a car sales manager for 3 years.
I'm trying to find a comfortable behavior model for myself, but it doesn't work.

Even on weekends, I now sit at home almost all the time, because. incomprehensible disagreements in the head do not allow to move on. I have described several behaviors for myself, but I can’t find “what is mine”?
Constantly it’s not so good, sometimes it’s different. (Manners, for example: emotionality, calmness, closeness, or vice versa, openness to society). In short confused how to behave, how to live.
I want to find myself, eliminate disagreements in my head and live in harmony.

I turned to you, because want to understand what it is?
Perhaps you can advise! I went to a psychologist 3 weeks ago, but communication did not lead to anything. The answers were general phrases that seemed to me generally “off topic”.

Thank you very much!

Living in harmony with oneself and the world - the answer of a psychoanalyst

All this may be the result of unfinished situations and unworked negative emotions usually during childhood.

In order to specifically determine the source of disharmony within your personality and correct the situation, you need the help of a psychotherapist, psychoanalyst (in person or online).

To get started, you can have an inexpensive conversation with a psychotherapist by correspondence or chat.

Psychological exercises, trainings on psycho-correction of character

Date: 2016-10-07

To be a good person means to be in harmony with yourself.
Discord is the need to be in harmony with others. Oscar Wilde

One of the most important conditions for stable happiness is being in agreement with yourself. Consent with oneself brings harmony and peace to the soul of a person, allows him to feel at ease in any situation, to live exactly the way he wants.

What does it mean to be in harmony with yourself? Consent with oneself is a complex sense of self, which includes agreement with oneself present, past and future. In other words, looking back, you do not regret anything, making plans for the future - you understand that these are your desired goals, formed not under the influence of someone's requirements or stereotypical beliefs, not because it is so fashionable or because “everything do." When making decisions in the present, you listen to the opinions of others, but make the final decision yourself, confident that this is the most correct for you of all possible.

Let's take a closer look at what is included in agreement with oneself? What should one strive for in order to live in harmony with oneself?

1. Being at peace with yourself means knowing exactly what you want and doing what you want without hesitation. To know what you want, you need a very good understanding of yourself, your temperament, life experience and what can bring true joy.
2. Being in harmony with himself, a person acts, adhering to his own system of values, without changing it under the influence of other people or fleeting events. He enjoys the way of life that he leads, recognizes the significance of his achievements without regard to others, without the desire to compare himself with others. Consent with yourself relieves anxiety and anxiety, thanks to an understanding of the correctness of your value system for you, a balanced, conscious approach, mature, moral standards that you are guided by.
   
3. The degree of agreement with oneself is assessed by how much what you have, what you do, what you have is useful to you and what is not. To do this, sometimes you have to give up previously set goals, realizing that these are not your plans and dreams. But it helps to open up to new horizons, namely yours.
4. A person who lives in harmony with himself can look back into his past without regret, reproaches and self-flagellation, because he understands that all events, all decisions that he made earlier, even if not the best ones based on today's understanding of them, served one single purpose. - his personal growth, spiritual enrichment, gaining invaluable life experience. There would be no obstacles, no wrong turns on life path– there would be no incentives for a better understanding of oneself, one’s true values and needs. There are no difficulties - there is no development either, some truths can be known only by experiencing on your own personal experience. And in the end, everything that happens is for the best.
5. A person who lives in harmony with himself sets himself realistic goals in the short term. You can want a lot, but you need to correctly assess your strengths and set achievable goals for the near future. Listen to yourself, but do not contradict the existing reality.
   
6. To be in harmony with oneself means to be attentive to bodily reactions on this or that event: they help to make the right choice. And for this you need to be able to distinguish impulsive reactions from genuine ones. For example, some body reactions are associated with a reaction not to the current situation, but to the one that was before. But insofar as it was then very traumatic, the avoidance reaction is triggered. henceforth all similar situations. And then a person can lock himself in a narrow comfort zone, afraid to expand its boundaries. It is necessary to learn how to assess how the current reaction of the body reflects exactly what is happening and, based on this, make the right choice. In general, a person who lives in harmony with himself feels cheerful, has a good appetite, easily falls asleep and gets enough sleep.
7. To be in harmony with oneself means to make decisions independently according to one's own principles, to be responsible for one's decisions and to give up the senseless desire to blame others for one's failures.
8. To be in agreement with yourself means to accept that not all of your actions and decisions will please your environment, to act in spite of possible resentment, disappointment and misunderstanding on the part of loved ones and not so people.
9. A person who, in agreement with himself, will not impose his point of view on others, because he appreciates and respects not only his own right, but also the right of another person to be in agreement with himself. And because he does not need such an additional condition to agree with himself - mandatory consent with his point of view of others.
10. To be in harmony with ourselves also implies that sometimes we deviate from this state. Sometimes it is the awareness of one's troubles that helps to return to oneself again, to be oneself. To be a man, and not a sinless god, means learning to live, knowing that we make mistakes and will make mistakes, correcting mistakes, admitting mistakes, but maintaining friendly relations with ourselves, understanding and accepting everyone.

Be in harmony with yourself.