Where to put negative emotions. The most non-trivial and effective ways to throw out anger and not offend anyone

Question to a psychologist

Hello! I am interested in the following question: I am an introvert, I experience everything in myself, I suppress many feelings or dream of suppressing them, I also try to restrain my emotions, and if it doesn’t work out, then I blame myself. As a result, a lot of decaying feelings and experiences accumulate inside me, which I simply cannot throw away anywhere. How to be? What methods to get rid of feelings and emotions? Personally, I can not say everything, it goes without saying, I am looking for alternative ways. For example, if I feel anger or resentment, how can I get rid of these emotions, how to throw them out of my soul, how to "digest and re-feel". ? What are the ways? Describe them in a diary or maybe say it out loud to yourself?

All methods are good... and "describe them in a diary" and "speak out loud to yourself" and much more (You can find information on the Internet).

The most effective is the reaction of feelings at the moment of their occurrence in the process of communication.
For this, there is a so-called "I - messages" format.

You will be able to constructively express your feelings and convey what you want to the interlocutor.
Read about how to do it here: http://psiholog-dnepr.com.ua/for-the-family/school-partnership/message

With uv. Kiselevskaya Svetlana, psychologist, master (Dnepropetrovsk).

Marina, all unspent emotions remain in the human body. In my opinion the simplest and effective way coping with an emotion is letting it pass through your body, "wasting it" in a physical action. What does it mean? The emotion has arisen. 1) Do you ask yourself - how do I feel? (Awareness turns on and automatic reaction goes away) Call it, for example, "anger." 2) Where in the body does the emotion respond? Found this place. Just saw everything. 3) If you are alone at this moment, then start doing something physically, clean pans, carpet, jump, squat ... anything to make it hot. If in the office or public place, then go to the toilet, for example, and do everything there. And then important point. 4) Breathe deeply and feel your new state. It should at least get easier. My clients successfully practice this method. Writing and "pour" emotions on paper is also useful, but not enough. With this paper, some more actions need to be done :)) At meetings in the club, my clients invent their own ways. It is useful for introverts to find like-minded people and communicate in a group! And don't worry so much! Accept yourself different!

Vuymina Larisa Alekseevna, psychologist Rostov-on-Don

Hello Marina. I suggest an exercise.

How to vaccinate against stress.
So, if you are facing some psychological problem or just experiencing Bad mood- put aside everyday affairs, find a comfortable place to be alone and alone.
Concentrate your attention by focusing it on your physical, bodily sensations. Try to find sensations in your body that are supposedly related to what you are experiencing. negative emotions. you can simply find those parts of your body where physical discomfort is especially noticeable (for example, a headache, or heaviness in the chest, or a sucking feeling of emptiness "in the pit of the stomach", etc.).
It is these sensations that serve as material for further work - they must be used as a sensitive indicator, a kind of "litmus test" of those literally saving and healing psychological changes that occur in the body at an involuntary or subconscious level.
Take a blank sheet of paper, divide it into two halves with a vertical line. On the left "dark" half, write the negative, usually self-blaming thought that first comes to mind when you think about the problem that has arisen. Say it out loud or mentally "to yourself." Observe how uncomfortable bodily sensations react with this - as a rule, they increase.
Now start pronouncing statements that are opposite in meaning in the same way - as arguments in a dispute that help overcome the opposite point of view (or rather, convince your own subconscious, on which your emotional well-being and optimism directly depend).
Do it slowly, slowly, carefully observing which of the spoken phrases bodily sensations respond to - these "arguments" turned out to be the most convincing for your subconscious.
Write them down on right side sheet. Usually it is enough to pick up 4-5 such phrases within 15-20 minutes so that the state of health returns to normal and the emotional "fire" goes out.
Then cut your paper along the dividing line. You can get rid of its left half and forget its content. You can just crumple a piece of paper and throw it away. Or, more practical, you can combine both methods by doing the first of them in reality, and the second in your imagination.
Save the right half of the sheet and remember your entire "right" list of positive thoughts. These words you found - statements that create a life-affirming mood (affirmations) will be a "vaccination" against stress for you, which will help you calm down in difficult times. (M.E. Sandomirsky "Protection from stress").

Dibrova Larisa Vladimirovna, psychologist, Chisinau

A strange question, you might think, but the answer might surprise you too.
I have always been a “good girl”, so correct, studied well, behaved well, had no bad habits and, in general, for a long time I was sure everything was ok. Until one moment. It was a training, or rather one of the exercises to work with aggression. Well, what are you? Where does my aggression come from? I have always treated people with respect, I don’t have and never had enemies, and, to be honest, I didn’t even think badly about anyone. Classical correct education in an intelligent family.
And then a miracle happened, after doing the exercise, my neck was completely wedged, I simply could not raise my head, physically I could not. And this went on for several more days. A metaphysical explanation of what happened - the flow of hidden negativity was so strong that it simply “knocked out” my head. Yeah well, how is that possible? - I could not agree with this interpretation of what is happening. And only then, after a long time, gaining a new experience of self-awareness, I began to understand and get acquainted with the source of negative experiences, resentment, anger, hidden deep inside.
The fact is that we are always taught to be good, taught to be correct, to behave decently. Teach from early childhood and firmly reinforce this habit with bonuses - sweets, words of encouragement, the fulfillment of our desires, parental love. And a child from childhood understands that being good is good and profitable, and being bad is bad and not profitable. And that means, unfortunately, burying all your bad emotions deep inside, not to express them. As if they don't exist. We swallow resentment, endure, first in childhood, then when we create our families.

What is the energy of aggression - it is the most powerful, the flow of which simply blows everything in its path, it is a whirlwind, sometimes even a tornado. Just imagine, is it possible to lock this tornado inside yourself without harming your body and your soul? You cover it with a lid, but its destructive power is now directed not outward, but into yourself. Resentment is softer, perhaps like a piercing draft. Little by little, but surely, it blows through us, and sometimes we don’t even notice it, but we only see the result.

If these energies are not allowed to be expressed, they will destroy us indefinitely. The psychosomatic nature of diseases is not an invention, but a reality that can be fully understood if one knows the laws of energy movement in the human body. I was able to discover and release this energy, but it took hours and practice, and I was very fortunate to have studied psychotherapy myself.
Therefore, to the question of whether it is good to be “good”, I can say unequivocally that it is bad for you yourself. But what to do in such a situation, do not splash out all your negative thoughts and emotions on others. Of course not, by doing this you will not help yourself, and harm them.

How to get rid of negativity, how to get rid of anger and throw out resentment without harming others?

Here are some simple exercises:

1. First you need become aware of your negative emotions - resentment, anger, anger, aggression, irritation. Think about whether there are people in your life whose memories cause you pain or discomfort, remember the last situations when you quarreled, screamed, were offended, closed in on yourself. These memories will have to be collected bit by bit, since our consciousness is arranged in such a way that memory, for the purpose of self-preservation, sort of erases, or rather hides all our bad memories away in order to save our resource state. Therefore, we will act in steps - we remembered something - we worked it out, we remembered more - we worked it out again. Do not think that what was a long time ago, in childhood, is not valid today. All this memory lives in us, and sometimes our childhood grievances predetermine our adult behavior much more than our conscious choice.

2. Now you need release all negativity . Here are some ways:
— Dynamic Meditation (Osho). If you know that there is an opportunity to visit Osho Dynamic Meditation groups in your city, be sure to use it. It allows you to let go and express all emotions. If you practice this dynamic meditation for 21 days in a row, your life will change with a 100% guarantee.

— Express your feelings on paper. Very simple and affordable way"self-healing". As soon as you plunge into negative emotions and catch yourself in it, or remember your early grievances, pour everything onto paper. Sit down, be alone, and express all your feelings. Do not be shy in expressions, be extremely frank. Just let yourself go, allow yourself to be rude or ungrateful, angry or ugly. Do not judge yourself for "bad" thoughts and words. We are all living people and we all accumulate claims and grievances even towards the best and closest people. And that doesn't mean we don't like them. After that, you can "for revision" if you feel that everything is not yet expressed, or burn it.

— Sports will help release anger and irritation- Throw darts or practice karate. Introduce your abuser if it helps to increase the momentum. Only by blowing off all steam will you realize that you were able to let go of the situation and forgive the person. Perhaps after that your relationship will change for the better.

—Use the shout, "shout out" all your emotions, for example, locking themselves in a car, or secluded somewhere else. Just do not need to yell at the person, this will only inflame your conflict even more. All your actions must be environmentally friendly, i.e. not harm other people.

3. Recognize that you are entitled to all emotions - both good and bad. And that doesn't make you worse. and indulgent. To answer yourself the question of how to get rid of negativity, remember how young children behave - they are offended or angry, screaming, crying, but a few minutes pass and they are already happy, they have completely forgotten all the insults. Be like them - release everything, then your joy will be complete.©

Hello dear friends!

Civilized individuals, for the most part, are used to restraining emotions, wearing a familiar mask, generally accepted in society. Have you ever smiled when cats scratch inside your soul? The containment of negative emotions developed into a quick change of defensive reactions - laughter, hysteria or avoiding an unpleasant situation.

All these ways drive harmful feelings deeper and deeper, eventually forming diseases or nervous breakdowns. How to vent your anger safely? How to effectively say goodbye to the accumulated negativity and at the same time not offend anyone?

By suppressing toxic experiences or sensations in the depths of our consciousness, we fill the space of the Universe with stressful, side effects, instead neglecting joy, love and a sense of complete, peace of mind.

Today, I have prepared for you several effective ways to get rid of the heavy burden of angry suffering and live a harmonious life in complete harmony with yourself.

1. Diary

An excellent assistant in solving this issue is a diary or diary. Spilling out on paper a list of indignations, experiences and questions, a person gets rid of the desire to carry everything deep under his heart.

A silent friend will always find time to listen and even suggest a useful thought. The daily practice of recording will serve as an excellent occasion for analyzing the passing days and discharging aggression.

Feeling or emotion, left without control and attention, like a worm, gnaws a hole in a holistic and healthy perception. One, generates an avalanche of malicious thoughts and directs the individual to the path of self-destruction, as such.

Decide on a good time to write down your feelings in a diary. The most successful part of the day is the evening. The day has come to an end and you have the right to draw conclusions. Talk about victories, talk about pain or problems. Write down all the feelings from your day, focusing on painful emotions.

At the end of the created essay, thank this day for the experience and wish yourself a global portion of goodness and luck tomorrow.

2. Action and power

Visualization will help. You should not make a photo robot of an unpleasant face or perform voodoo rituals. For this, a good and proven way is ideal - a punching bag.

If you go to the gym, then it will be much easier for you to carry out the method of clearing the mind with the help of body physics. And if you don’t have such a projectile at hand and the opportunity to purchase it as well, then I recommend that you replace the pear with an ordinary pillow that every person has at home, if he is not a vampire!

Try to carry out the beating alone, otherwise the family will think that you really have mental problems. Convince yourself that the pillow is the personification of the offender, provoking the release of aggression.

Collect your thoughts, first remember all those painful emotions that take possession of you. Scroll through your mind the situations that caused the wound and tune in to desired fret.

There is one very important point: if after three minutes of “beating” the pillow, you suddenly decided that you were completely healed and got rid of the load, then this is not so.

You need to try to get rid of the block that prevents you from throwing out rage. The process of awakening and releasing wild rage and negative emotions may scare you, but this is the only chance to get pain from the depths of the subconscious.

You will feel when exactly the right condition comes. A person in this state may behave inappropriately: the pulse quickens, tremors and sweat are noticeable on the hands, and words break out involuntarily and are often framed by an animal roar, along with streams of tears.

Yes it is. But do not be afraid of your own reactions, because after the "session", you can feel reborn and go to sleep for a couple of hours.

3. Voice and scream

Hatred is a very dangerous emotion that you need to get rid of as soon as possible before it pushes you to irreparable consequences. I will offer you an effective way to deal with an insidious lady, which is based on the healing effect of nature on a person.

Stock up on free time and determination to put an end to the issue. If there is a pond, park or forest near your home, then this is excellent! Going there at sunset, you can be left alone with your thoughts and say goodbye to the superfluous.

You can take a drawing or even a photo with you and gather your strength and yell at it! Express all the bad things that you were going to do or how much pain they caused you.

At first, your words will be correct and restrained, but having understood the meaning of the exercise and feeling the courage, the healing process will go faster, taking away the old, hated sensations with the sunset.

4. A session of "tear therapy"

Crying is good. Tears are a natural way to remove negativity from the body. In case you feel a total heaviness from the emotions that have rolled in, but you can’t cry, help yourself by arranging a real healing session.

Put on the right music, be alone with your thoughts, and look at photos, a movie, or some other source of perceptual stimulation. This will help you tune in the right way and at the end of the dialogue with yourself, feel lighter.

5. Explosion safety

Happen often. But do not throw out the negative on other people who are not related to your untamed monsters. You should not conduct an exorcism in their presence, accusing them of all mortal sins. In this way, you can hurt a person very badly who does not deserve it.

Be careful that the process of getting rid of negative attitudes and thoughts, has not turned into an ordinary ritual or emotional addiction.

Friends, this is the point.

Subscribe to update my blog and recommend it to your friends for reading. Tell us in the comments what method do you practice?

See you on the blog, bye bye!

Every day a person experiences various emotions, both positive and negative. Naturally, the more good emotions, the happier a person is. But negative emotions do a lot of harm. Because of them, the mood deteriorates, which also affects physical condition person.

Negativity leads to stress, and sometimes to depressive states. There are people who easily deal with negative emotions without focusing on them. And there is a category of people who accumulate resentment in themselves, become isolated, do not know how to splash out the negative, which is fraught with serious illnesses. That is why it is necessary to deal with any negative emotions.

Ways to deal with negative emotions

1. Sports. Physical exercise very well distract from various bad thoughts, increase the overall tone of the body, give vitality.

2. Smile. Even if you really don’t feel like it, look in the mirror, remember something good, pleasant, and you will involuntarily smile. You can also hang photos around the apartment in which you sincerely smile or laugh. When they get into your eyes, they will make you smile.

3. Pour out your negative emotions on paper. Get a notebook and at the end of each day write down everything that you would like to forget, throw out of your life. You can just take a separate sheet of paper every day, write down all the negative on it, and then tear it, burn it or cut it into small pieces with scissors. The same must be done with the notebook when it is finished.

4. Dance. Turn on some fun music and, without thinking about the movements, let go of your body. You can even close your eyes, let your arms, legs, head, torso move as you want.

5. Aromatherapy. Surrounding aromas affect us morally and physically. You, of course, have noticed that unpleasant odors cause irritation, they spoil the mood. But pleasant aromas, on the contrary, cheer up, evoke positive emotions. Therefore, a lighted aroma lamp with essential oils of orange, peppermint, lavender, tangerine helps to relax and distract very well.

6. Scream. Turn on loud music and shout. Or choose a day in the week when you will release emotions, go into the forest and scream there until you feel better. Just don't overdo it.

7. Take a shower. Try to keep the water temperature pleasant for the body. Wash your head. The best way to do this is with herbal decoctions, the smell of which will soothe.

8. In any conflict situation keep yourself under control. Calmly perceive what is happening, do not let negative emotions take over your mind.

9. Meditations and breathing exercises. It is necessary to learn how to relax not only the body, but also the mind. Breathing exercises not only relieves negative emotions, but also has a positive effect on health.

10. Give yourself a little gift. It may be some thing that you have long dreamed of, or going to the cinema or theater, visiting the zoo, that is, something that you have limited yourself to before. You can try aliexpress coupons.

11. Sleep. As a rule, sleep contributes to the rest of both the body and the soul. Therefore, a good sleep will set you up for positive, and yesterday's problems will seem to you not at all as important as it seemed at first glance.

12. Help other people. Among your acquaintances there will always be a person who needs support or help. Helping another person, you yourself will feel that you are becoming different.

Try to identify what causes negative emotions in you. Maybe by finding out their cause, you can avoid them next time. Put a little effort, cheer yourself up, it's in your power. Do not forget that there is a way out of any situation. Therefore, your task is to find it and change your condition for the better.

There are many unpleasant situations in our life. Sometimes we feel that it is like a rollercoaster: good luck and failure, conflicts at home and at work, unexpected force majeure situations, obsessive thoughts and anxiety states. Everything causes us negative or positive emotions.

Negative emotions are harder to deal with than positive ones, but they are inseparable from life. We pull our hand away from a hot object because it hurts. Similarly, negative human emotions are a response to external stimuli. But in order to stay balanced, you need to be able to cope with your emotions.

Negative human emotions: 7 steps to deal with them

Usually we understand that anger, irritation, resentment, hostility towards others are those feelings that we cannot splash out on others. We hide them, suppress them and do not show them to anyone. This happens repeatedly, and as a result, negative accumulates, which does not go anywhere. We become like a full boiling kettle, from which water splashes. So our feelings break through: they develop into a deep conflict, difficult experiences, uncontrollable behavior.

In order for emotions not to be destructive, we do not need to deny them. Any feelings must be learned to accept and understand what exactly causes negativity. When the reason is understood, we can correct the situation, change our view of it, and transform negative feelings into positive experiences.

There is a certain psychological algorithm for this. You may not succeed the first time. But repeating these psychological tricks you change your internal state. Your life will become calmer, anxiety and irritability will go away, you will learn to control yourself.

So what to do:

Recognizing your emotion is the first step in dealing with feelings.. But that doesn't mean you have to express them to anyone. Frankly admit to yourself what you are experiencing: anger, irritation, envy. Step back from the situation, be a dispassionate observer, and evaluate your feelings.

Notice how emotion influences your behavior. For example, if you are angry, talk loudly, quickly, use impartial expressions, gesticulate vigorously. If you are sad, you listen to minor music, cry or just lie in bed. Understanding how your emotions affect behavior is very important.

Tell yourself that the emotion won't last forever. Emotions usually don't "stick" for long. Therefore, sometimes it seems that we are on an emotional swing: good is replaced by bad, bad by good. This is what our life is made of. If you feel something negative, remember that it won't last forever, just like physical pain. Eventually, "a broken bone will heal." This also applies to negative feelings.

Find out what causes negative emotions. Once you've named an emotion, noticed how it affects behavior, and told you that anger, blues, or resentment don't last forever, the next step is to determine where the emotion came from. Don't blame yourself or anyone else for negative feelings, just try to identify the cause.

Accept your emotions. Acceptance is not easy to recognize and name an emotion. We must say to ourselves: “Yes, these are my feelings, I cannot change them, but this does not mean that I am always angry.” Tell yourself that you feel what you should feel. Even if it's not the best experience. Negative emotions are inherent in absolutely everyone - this is a response to reality. But they are changeable and do not define a person as a person.

Return to this moment. You recognized and named emotions, noticed how it affects your behavior, figured out the reason, and said it won't last forever. Now is the time to calmly continue what you were doing. If you need a short break after a surge of negative emotions, take it. Go for a walk, get busy exercise call a friend, listen to your favorite music. Do whatever you can to move out of negative emotions and bring yourself back to the present moment. We live here and now.

Learn from the emotional response. For any negative feelings there is a reason. If negative emotions are a normal, healthy reaction to what is happening, then take steps to help manage emotions. Do not ignore them, but draw conclusions and get useful information which you will use in the future.