How not to splash out negative emotions on people. Negative human emotions: splash out or suppress

There are many unpleasant situations in our life. Sometimes we feel that it is like a rollercoaster: good luck and failure, conflicts at home and at work, unexpected force majeure situations, obsessive thoughts and anxiety states. Everything causes us negative or positive emotions.

Negative emotions are harder to deal with than positive ones, but they are inseparable from life. We pull our hand away from a hot object because it hurts. Similarly, negative human emotions are a response to external stimuli. But in order to stay balanced, you need to be able to cope with your emotions.

Negative human emotions: 7 steps to deal with them

Usually we understand that anger, irritation, resentment, hostility towards others are those feelings that we cannot splash out on others. We hide them, suppress them and do not show them to anyone. This happens repeatedly, and as a result, negative accumulates, which does not go anywhere. We become like a full boiling kettle, from which water splashes. So our feelings break through: they develop into a deep conflict, difficult experiences, uncontrollable behavior.

In order for emotions not to be destructive, we do not need to deny them. Any feelings must be learned to accept and understand what exactly causes negativity. When the reason is understood, we can correct the situation, change our view of it, and transform negative feelings into positive experiences.

There is a certain psychological algorithm for this. You may not succeed the first time. But repeating these psychological tricks you change your internal state. Your life will become calmer, anxiety and irritability will go away, you will learn to control yourself.

So what to do:

Recognizing your emotion is the first step in dealing with feelings.. But that doesn't mean you have to express them to anyone. Frankly admit to yourself what you are experiencing: anger, irritation, envy. Step back from the situation, be a dispassionate observer, and evaluate your feelings.

Notice how emotion influences your behavior. For example, if you are angry, talk loudly, quickly, use impartial expressions, gesticulate vigorously. If you are sad, you listen to minor music, cry or just lie in bed. Understanding how your emotions affect behavior is very important.

Tell yourself that the emotion won't last forever. Emotions usually don't "stick" for long. Therefore, sometimes it seems that we are on an emotional swing: good is replaced by bad, bad by good. This is what our life is made of. If you feel something negative, remember that it won't last forever, just like physical pain. Eventually, "a broken bone will heal." This also applies to negative feelings.

Find out what causes negative emotions. Once you've named an emotion, noticed how it affects behavior, and told you that anger, blues, or resentment don't last forever, the next step is to determine where the emotion came from. Don't blame yourself or anyone else for negative feelings, just try to identify the cause.

Accept your emotions. Acceptance is not easy to recognize and name an emotion. We must say to ourselves: “Yes, these are my feelings, I cannot change them, but this does not mean that I am always angry.” Tell yourself that you feel what you should feel. Even if it's not the best experience. negative emotions inherent in absolutely everyone - this is a response to reality. But they are changeable and do not define a person as a person.

Return to this moment. You recognized and named emotions, noticed how it affects your behavior, figured out the reason, and said it won't last forever. Now is the time to calmly continue what you were doing. If you need a short break after a surge of negative emotions, take it. Go for a walk, get busy exercise call a friend, listen to your favorite music. Do whatever you can to move out of negative emotions and bring yourself back to the present moment. We live here and now.

Learn from the emotional response. For any negative feelings there is a reason. If negative emotions are a normal, healthy reaction to what is happening, then take steps to help manage emotions. Do not ignore them, but draw conclusions and get useful information which you will use in the future.

Hello dear friends!

Civilized individuals, for the most part, are used to restraining emotions, wearing a familiar mask, generally accepted in society. Have you ever smiled when cats scratch inside your soul? The containment of negative emotions developed into a quick change of defensive reactions - laughter, hysteria or avoiding an unpleasant situation.

All these ways drive harmful feelings deeper and deeper, eventually forming diseases or nervous breakdowns. How to vent your anger safely? How to effectively say goodbye to the accumulated negativity and at the same time not offend anyone?

By suppressing toxic experiences or sensations in the depths of our consciousness, we fill the space of the Universe with stressful, side effects, instead neglecting joy, love and a sense of complete, peace of mind.

Today, I have prepared for you several effective ways to get rid of the heavy burden of angry suffering and live a harmonious life in complete harmony with yourself.

1. Diary

An excellent assistant in solving this issue is a diary or diary. Spilling out on paper a list of indignations, experiences and questions, a person gets rid of the desire to carry everything deep under his heart.

A silent friend will always find time to listen and even suggest a useful thought. The daily practice of recording will serve as an excellent occasion for analyzing the passing days and discharging aggression.

Feeling or emotion, left without control and attention, like a worm, gnaws a hole in a holistic and healthy perception. One, generates an avalanche of malicious thoughts and directs the individual to the path of self-destruction, as such.

Decide on a good time to write down your feelings in a diary. The most successful part of the day is the evening. The day has come to an end and you have the right to draw conclusions. Talk about victories, talk about pain or problems. Write down all the feelings from your day, focusing on painful emotions.

At the end of the created essay, thank this day for the experience and wish yourself a global portion of goodness and luck tomorrow.

2. Action and power

Visualization will help. You should not make a photo robot of an unpleasant face or perform voodoo rituals. For this, a good and proven way is ideal - a punching bag.

If you go to the gym, then it will be much easier for you to carry out the method of clearing the mind with the help of body physics. And if you don’t have such a projectile at hand and the opportunity to purchase it as well, then I recommend that you replace the pear with an ordinary pillow that every person has at home, if he is not a vampire!

Try to carry out the beating alone, otherwise the family will think that you really have mental problems. Convince yourself that the pillow is the personification of the offender, provoking the release of aggression.

Collect your thoughts, first remember all those painful emotions that take possession of you. Scroll through your mind the situations that caused the wound and tune in to desired fret.

There is one very important point: if after three minutes of “beating” the pillow, you suddenly decided that you were completely healed and got rid of the load, then this is not so.

You need to try to get rid of the block that prevents you from throwing out rage. The process of awakening and releasing wild rage and negative emotions may scare you, but this is the only chance to get pain from the depths of the subconscious.

You will feel when exactly the right condition comes. A person in this state may behave inappropriately: the pulse quickens, tremors and sweat are noticeable on the hands, and words break out involuntarily and are often framed by an animal roar, along with streams of tears.

Yes it is. But do not be afraid of your own reactions, because after the "session", you can feel reborn and go to sleep for a couple of hours.

3. Voice and scream

Hatred is a very dangerous emotion that you need to get rid of as soon as possible before it pushes you to irreparable consequences. I will offer you effective method struggle with the insidious lady, which is based on the healing effect of nature on man.

Stock up on free time and determination to put an end to the issue. If there is a pond, park or forest near your home, then this is great! Going there at sunset, you can be left alone with your thoughts and say goodbye to the superfluous.

You can take a drawing or even a photo with you and gather your strength and yell at it! Express all the bad things that you were going to do or how much pain they caused you.

At first, your words will be correct and restrained, but having understood the meaning of the exercise and feeling the courage, the healing process will go faster, taking away the old, hated sensations with the sunset.

4. A session of "tear therapy"

Crying is good. Tears are a natural way to remove negativity from the body. In case you feel a total heaviness from the emotions that have rolled in, but you can’t cry, help yourself by arranging a real healing session.

Put on the right music, be alone with your thoughts, and look at photos, a movie, or some other source of perceptual stimulation. This will help you tune in the right way and at the end of the dialogue with yourself, feel lighter.

5. Explosion safety

Happen often. But do not throw out the negative on other people who are not related to your untamed monsters. You should not conduct an exorcism in their presence, accusing them of all mortal sins. In this way, you can hurt a person very badly who does not deserve it.

Be careful that the process of getting rid of negative attitudes and thoughts, has not turned into an ordinary ritual or emotional dependence.

Friends, this is the point.

Subscribe to update my blog and recommend it to your friends for reading. Tell us in the comments what method do you practice?

See you on the blog, bye bye!

Every day a person experiences various emotions, both positive and negative. Naturally, the more good emotions, the happier a person is. But negative emotions do a lot of harm. Because of them, the mood deteriorates, which also affects physical condition person.

Negativity leads to stress, and sometimes to depressive states. There are people who easily deal with negative emotions without focusing on them. And there is a category of people who accumulate resentment in themselves, become isolated, do not know how to splash out the negative, which is fraught with serious illnesses. That is why it is necessary to deal with any negative emotions.

Ways to deal with negative emotions

1. Sports. Physical exercise very well distract from various bad thoughts, increase the overall tone of the body, give vitality.

2. Smile. Even if you really don’t feel like it, look in the mirror, remember something good, pleasant, and you will involuntarily smile. You can also hang photos around the apartment in which you sincerely smile or laugh. When they get into your eyes, they will make you smile.

3. Pour out your negative emotions on paper. Get a notebook and at the end of each day write down everything that you would like to forget, throw out of your life. You can just take a separate sheet of paper every day, write down all the negative on it, and then tear it, burn it or cut it into small pieces with scissors. The same must be done with the notebook when it is finished.

4. Dance. Turn on some fun music and, without thinking about the movements, let go of your body. You can even close your eyes, let your arms, legs, head, torso move as you want.

5. Aromatherapy. Surrounding aromas affect us morally and physically. You, of course, have noticed that unpleasant odors cause irritation, they spoil the mood. But pleasant aromas, on the contrary, cheer up, evoke positive emotions. Therefore, a lighted aroma lamp with essential oils of orange, peppermint, lavender, tangerine helps to relax and distract very well.

6. Scream. Turn on loud music and shout. Or choose a day in the week when you will release emotions, go into the forest and scream there until you feel better. Just don't overdo it.

7. Take a shower. Try to keep the water temperature pleasant for the body. Wash your head. The best way to do this is with herbal decoctions, the smell of which will soothe.

8. In any conflict situation keep yourself under control. Calmly perceive what is happening, do not let negative emotions take over your mind.

9. Meditations and breathing exercises. It is necessary to learn how to relax not only the body, but also the mind. Breathing exercises not only relieves negative emotions, but also has a positive effect on health.

10. Give yourself a little gift. It can be some thing that you have long dreamed of, or going to the cinema or theater, visiting the zoo, that is, something that you have limited yourself to before. You can try aliexpress coupons.

11. Sleep. As a rule, sleep contributes to the rest of both the body and the soul. Therefore, a good sleep will set you up for positive, and yesterday's problems will seem to you not at all as important as it seemed at first glance.

12. Help other people. Among your acquaintances there will always be a person who needs support or help. Helping another person, you yourself will feel that you are becoming different.

Try to identify what causes negative emotions in you. Maybe by finding out their cause, you can avoid them next time. Put a little effort, cheer yourself up, it's in your power. Do not forget that there is a way out of any situation. Therefore, your task is to find it and change your condition for the better.

Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How abnormal and not able to control it. Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and dumping nothing on others. How to do this?

Emotions are lived only through the body - analysis by the brain does not give anything. Because they live in the body and exit through the body. If you think and analyze, then I understand everything with my head, but it still infuriates me.

For example, you have a difficult relationship with your mother. And if you only let off steam and scream into the pillow, without changing anything in your attitude towards your mother, then this is pointless. This is the same as taking painkillers for a toothache and not going to the doctor. You need to take care of your teeth, right? And relationships need to be healed. This is primary. justify;"> We will talk most of all about anger, because it is not clear what to do with it and where to put it. And one way or another, in any complex interweaving of emotions, there is a lot of anger. The way out of many difficult states, such as feelings of guilt and resentment, occurs through anger. And refusing to live it, we cannot go further.

But I ask you to separate anger as a momentary emotion that comes naturally when things don't go your way (such is the nature of anger) and anger as a character trait, which is anger. Feeling anger sometimes is normal, as long as you don’t push it, but live safely. To be in a claim to the world, when you want to control everything and everywhere, and when this does not happen - to be angry all the time - this is already abnormal. How crazy and not able to control it.

Controlling anger does not mean not feeling it or suppressing it.

Control is to blow off steam in ways that are safe for everyone, leaving nothing in yourself and nothing being dumped on others. Imagine that anger is a natural waste product of the body, like overcooked food. What happens if you consider this case "dirty" and stop going to the toilet? Forbid yourself to do it? What will be the outcome? Maybe our task is to create such a “toilet” for emotions too – a place where we do something calmly and safely, without harming anyone?

And I beg you to avoid premature spirituality in emotions. This is when it boils and hurts inside, and from above we crush it all with the word “no” and delve into the reasons. Most often, this is how we treat other people's feelings, they say, I'll tell you now why you flew by karma! Causes are sought after the emotion is released. It will be much easier for you to see all this with a sober head. First, live. Or let a person live, help him in this.

And now let's get started. I want to divide the ways of experiencing emotions into constructive and destructive. Those that are harmless and those that hurt someone.

Destructive ways:

Pour on other people, especially those who "passed by."

At work, the boss got it, but you can’t tell him in the face, so we come home - and it hits the cat, which turned up under the arm, that is, under the leg, or the child who again brought the “troika”. Familiar? And it seems that you will yell and it will become easier, but then comes the feeling of guilt - after all, a cat or a child has nothing to do with it.

Rudeness.

In the same situation, when the boss drove him into a rage, but the anger remained inside, you can not deliver this bomb to the house, knowing that it will explode there. And pour out your anger on the saleswoman who works slowly and makes a mistake, on those who stepped on your foot or crossed the road, and at the same time on those who are very annoying with a happy face. And also of little use. Even if there is no feeling of guilt, the negative emotions of another person, on whom all this is poured out, will definitely return to us one day. Again. And so they go back and forth, while we are rude to each other.

Trolling on the Internet

This method seems to be safer and more unpunished. An anonymous page without an avatar, even if with an avatar, will not be found and beaten for sure. The boss brought it out - you can go to someone's page and write disgusting - they say, what an ugly thing! Or write nonsense! Or provoke some controversy on difficult topic, pouring mud on opponents, poking them with a needle in different places to inflict pain. But the law of karma works here, even if the laws of the state are not yet everywhere.

eat sweets

Another way, which, by the way, we often see in films. When a heroine is abandoned by a loved one or cheats on her, what does she do? I have this picture in front of my eyes: a crying girl in bed is watching a movie and eating a huge can of ice cream. The harm of such an event, I think, is clear to many.

Swear

Another way may look like this: you get rude, and you are rude in return. The husband came to yell at you - and you yell at him too. You seem to be honest. The person is the cause of your negative feelings, you need to urgently express them. But by doing so, you only fan the fire, intensify the conflict, and nothing good comes from this. A quarrel always takes out all our strength, including all hidden reserves, and we remain devastated and unhappy after it. Even if the dispute is won.

beat someone

Again - children, dogs, husband, boss (well, you never know). Any person who is the cause of your anger or just came to hand. Corporal punishment for children, during the emotional breakdown of parents, is very traumatic. They provoke in the child both a feeling of humiliation and a reciprocal hatred that he cannot express in any way. If you hit your husband, then you can get change, which, unfortunately, is not uncommon. And I've seen statistics that about half of women who have experienced domestic violence are the first to start a fight, not expecting a man to fight back. This does not justify men, but it does not honor women either.

Suppress

There is a belief that anger is bad. The more religious a woman is, the more she suppresses anger. He pretends not to piss her off, smiles stiffly at everyone, and so on. Further, anger has two ways out - to explode in a safe place (again at home, on loved ones) - and she will not be able to control this. And the second option is to hit her health and body. It seems to me that it is no coincidence that today so many people die precisely from cancer, this is a disease of unlived emotions, which many psychologists have repeatedly written about.

Break dishes and break things

On the one hand, the method is constructive. It's better to break a plate than hit a child. And of course sometimes you can use it. But if we destroy some things on our way, then we need to understand that then all this will need to be restored. My husband once destroyed his laptop in a rage. It was a terrible sight, and then I had to buy new computer. This is costly, and therefore less constructive than we would like.

Slam the door

It seems to me that this method is dear to many teenagers. And I remember myself like that, and in places I already see children like that. In principle, not the worst way. Only once I slammed the door so hard that the glass broke in it. And so nothing special.

Beat with words

You don't always need hands to hit a person. We women are good at doing it with words. Poke in pain points, sting, tease - and then pretend that we are not to blame and nothing to do with it. The more dirt we have inside us, the sharper and more caustic our tongue is. I remember myself, before, when I didn’t know where to put my feelings, I constantly teased everyone. Many called me an "ulcer", I could not help myself. I thought it was funny.

The more I learn to feel the feelings, the softer my speech becomes. And the less any kind of "studs" in it. Because it does not give anything good to anyone. For a couple of minutes, you can feed your ego and at the same time destroy relationships and earn karmic reactions.

Revenge

Often in a fit of anger it seems that if we take revenge and wash away the shame with the blood of the enemy, we will feel better. I know that some women during a quarrel with their husband, to spite him, have sex with someone, for example. A blessed option, which many consider acceptable, especially if the husband has cheated. But what's the bottom line? Revenge only exacerbates the conflict and increases the distance between us. Revenge is different - subtle and rough. But none of them are useful. Nobody.

Sex

Not the most The best way discharge, although it is physical. Because sex is still an opportunity to show love for each other, and not use each other as exercise equipment. Our mood during intimacy greatly affects our relationship in general. And casual connections with just anyone, for relaxation, are not only not useful, but also harmful.

shopping

Women often go to the store in upset feelings. And they buy a lot of unnecessary things there. Sometimes they even deliberately spend more money than necessary in order to take revenge, for example, on their husband. But it turns out that at this time we are using the resources that are given to us for good deeds - that is, money - at random and trying to harm others with their help. What will be the result? Resources will run out. And what they were spent on will not be useful. The dress you bought in anger will soak up your condition and make it difficult for you to wear it.

The list turned out to be impressive, not entirely joyful, but nevertheless, most often this is exactly what we do. Because we do not have a culture of dealing with feelings. We were not taught this, they never talk about it anywhere - they only ask us to put our feelings out of sight. And that's it.

Constructive ways of experiencing emotions:

Let the feelings be.

Sometimes - and by the way, very often, to experience a feeling, it is enough to see it, call it by its name and accept it. That is, in a moment of anger, say to yourself: “Yes, I am very angry now. And that's okay." This is very difficult for all those who have been told that this is not normal (because it is inconvenient for others). It’s hard to admit that you are angry now, although it is written on your face. It is difficult to say that this also happens. Sometimes it's hard to understand, but what is this feeling? I remember in constellations a girl whose jaws were trembling, her hands tensed into fists, and she called her feelings “sadness”. Learning to understand what it feels like is a matter of practice and time. For example, you can watch yourself. At critical moments, look in the mirror to understand what is on your face, follow the signs of the body, observe the tension in the body and the signals in it.

Stomp.

In traditional Indian dances, a woman stomps a lot, it is not so noticeable, because she dances barefoot. But in this way, through energetic movements, all tension leaves the body and goes into the ground. We often laugh at Indian films, where from any events - good or bad - they dance, but there is a special truth to this. Live any feelings through the body. Allow anger to run through you as you vigorously vent it through energetic stomps. By the way, in Russian folk dances there are many such movements.

It is not necessary to go to the dance section right now (although why not?) Try to close your eyes and, having felt an emotion in your body, “give it away” to the ground with the help of stompers. Of course, it is best to stomp while standing on the ground, and not on the tenth floor of a high-rise building. Even better if you can do it barefoot on grass or sand. You will physically feel how much easier it becomes.

And don't think about how it looks. Ideally, of course, if no one sees you and does not distract you. But if there is no such place, close your eyes and stomp.

Scream.

In some trainings, a form of purification such as screaming is practiced. When we scream into the floor, with a partner who helps us, we can also scream into a pillow in any other way. Some important word is usually shouted. For example, "Yes" or "No" - if it suits your emotion. You can just shout "Aaaaaa!". Take a deep breath and then open your mouth and empty your heart that way. So several times, until you feel empty inside.

Sometimes before that they do some kind of “pumping” - at first they breathe very, very quickly, exclusively through the nose.

There are weaknesses in this technique. For example, neighbors and households. The scream is very loud. And if you cannot relax and not worry, then it will not heal. The scream must come from a relaxed throat, otherwise you can seriously break your voice. It is better to try this for the first time somewhere with experienced people, then the effect will be greater.

Speak out.

Women's way. To live any feelings, we really need to talk about it, tell someone. About how the boss offended, and someone on the bus called. Not so much even to get support (which is also nice), but to pour it out of yourself. Approximately because of these people go to psychologists to get everything that corrodes their heart from there. A friend who has been working as a psychologist for a very long time once shared that most of her clients are helped by one simple way. She listens to them, asks questions so that they describe the situation as voluminously as possible, and that’s it. Doesn't give any recipes or advice. Just listening. And often at the end of the conversation, a person has a solution. Of course. It was as if the veil of anger that had been covering his eyes had been removed, and he saw the way.

Women do the same with each other, speaking out. There are only two points here. You can't tell anyone about your family life- about the problems in it. Otherwise, these problems can be exacerbated. And if they tell you something, you should not give advice. Just listen. By the way, you can organize a circle in which women share all their emotions - and then somehow symbolically say goodbye to them (which is often done in women's groups).

Be careful not to dump all your emotions on your husband. He just can't take it. If you talk to your friends, get their consent first. And don't forget to share the good things too (otherwise a friend may feel like a "toilet", which is needed only to drain negative emotions). It's great if you can cry to mom or dad if you have a mentor who listens to you, or a husband who is ready to do this.

Any of our blocks and clamps in the body are unlived emotions. Of course, I'm not talking about light strokes, but about deep work with the body, with force. A high-quality massage that kneads these points helps us cope with emotions. In this place, the main thing - as in childbirth - is to open up to pain. They press you somewhere, you feel pain - breathe and relax towards the pain. Tears may also come out of your eyes - this is normal.

A good massage therapist will immediately see your weak points - and he knows exactly where and how to press in order to remove the clamp. But often it hurts so much that we stop it - and do not move on. Then the massage becomes a pleasant relaxation procedure, but does not contribute to the removal of emotions.

When you are up to date, sometimes you want to hit someone. Husband, for example, or spank a child. Try at this moment to switch to the pillow - and beat it with all your heart. The main thing is not to sleep on such a pillow - let it be your sports equipment, which lies separately. You can cry into it. Or you can get yourself a punching bag and gloves. Also an option, however, it requires free space at home.

Beat the couch with a rolled up towel.