Subpersonalities. Independent work with them
For more effective interaction with other people, for a better understanding of oneself, it is desirable to highlight certain facets in one's personality, which are called subpersonalities. Subpersonalities are programs that are created in the subconscious to solve repetitive similar tasks, to perform certain roles (Housewife, Athlete, Daughter, Sluggish, Lazy Me, Great Combinator, Intelligent Locksmith with a secondary education). Facets of personality are tools that are used by a person for more effective and harmonious behavior in a particular life situation.
A person has several key subpersonalities associated with important areas of life in which a large number of time. For example, a few at work ("accountant" and "life of the company"), a few at home ("strict father" and "loving husband"), a few with friends ("love to talk" and "joker"). And there are many accessory facets of the personality that are used less often and are activated for rarer tasks. Each subpersonality can be distinguished shades, states in which it most often happens. For example, "dad" can be strict, gentle, loving, protective, master.
Example "Student"
Here is a schoolboy sitting at his desk. He has an active “trembling loser”, the teenager timidly hides behind the backs of other guys, is afraid that he will be asked an unlearned lesson, and then he will receive a scolding from an angry mother. He is lucky, the bell sounds from the lesson, the danger has passed. The “computer lover” starts to turn on, a joyful teenager runs home, where a level 65 hero is waiting for him - a rare achievement in this game. At the computer, he plays the role of a "clan leader", his sense of self and interaction with other people are greatly rebuilt - he behaves like a leader: he is confident in himself, knows what and how to do, leads people (it is quite possible that some of the followers will be adults from 20 years old, who have a different level in the game and a different sense of self). Or an “all-knowing excellent student”, who feels like an authority and a winner in a physics lesson, and in physical education, all his agility disappears, he turns into a “weakling, whom everyone laughs at.” An example from a later stage of life is a "violent director" at work, and at home - a "gentle henpecked" who unquestioningly fulfills all his wife's orders.
In the examples above, when active subpersonalities change, completely different people appear before the observer, with their own history, skills, posture, manner of speaking and preferences. The memory of one's former subpersonalities and what happened to them in a person can be temporarily wiped out. You can watch the children how they play and how much they can identify with their role, completely immerse themselves in it, during the game they are in their own separate world. Adults play no less selflessly, only their roles are sometimes called differently.
Each subpersonality says “I”, and therefore, without giving them names and determining the spheres of their manifestation, it is difficult to understand one’s inner world, behavior and motives of actions, it is difficult to build a system of values and achieve the intended goals, because different subpersonalities can lead a person in different directions.
Work and home example
Sitting at work at 6 pm, the "responsible employee" who did not complete the report and the "lover of the hearth" perceive the situation in completely different ways, they have different goals, and when activated, the subpersonalities will behave differently. The “responsible employee” will think that the report has not been completed and you can linger for a couple of hours once a month (and close your eyes, as if forgetting that this is not the first time you have been delayed), and the “hearth lover” will remember what is being shown today interesting film and the wife cooked a good dinner, turns off the computer with the words: “you can’t redo all the work.”
More often than not, the usual work of making lists of goals is ineffective because the list is formed from one subpersonality, and completely different subpersonalities are included in life, which have their own goals and their own opinion. A person simply does not want and cannot fulfill the obligations that he assumed before. Therefore, it is important to remember the needs of other subpersonalities, as well as to be able, when necessary, to change your state, leave some roles and include others. When you change roles, your outlook on the world will change, as well as your abilities, desires and level of motivation.
Example "Jog"
Boastful Self says he will go for a run tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, a person, seeing that the weather is nasty, a cold rain is falling, activates the “Comfort Lover”, who finds “good reasons” (can, for example, use sayings famous people, choose something suitable from the repertoire of sayings or come up with something of your own: “life is given to us for pleasure!”) Or simply forgets about the previous decision, with pleasure and a slightly unclear inner feeling (here comes a lie to calm and avert eyes from unwanted facts) sits down to drink hot fragrant tea in a soft enveloping chair).
A person, as a rule, does not know what subpersonalities he has and therefore does not control their activation at all. In this case, subpersonalities are unconsciously activated under the influence of external shocks, for example, from egregors or through other people (see the example of “Consultation with a psychologist”). And as a result, a person’s conscious control of himself is at a very low level, his behavior can be very inconsistent, inconsistent, contradictory and harmful for the goals that he once set for himself (see the article “Identification, awareness, free will and choice "). At the same time, organization and consistency are far from necessarily a sign of consciousness - a person can be led by any egregore, as he moves, forming the necessary shocks to which a person reacts properly. The latter can sincerely believe that he himself invented everything, planned, organized and implemented it.
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Putting on some role, a person in a certain way rebuilds the energy flows going through him. The reaction of another person to the energy coming from outside is often automatic and therefore he unconsciously puts on the most suitable role, his former state can quickly disappear. Accordingly, the goals, behavior, desire and worldview will change. This can be clearly observed during constellations, when a person is told, for example: "Please, be my husband's deputy." Implicitly, this happens all the time - if a director approaches a person from the “Work and Home” example at the moment of his thoughts, then it is likely that the man will move into the role of “responsible employee” and will complete the report. |
Roles can also be dressed up by egregors with unconscious connivance on the part of a person. In Hellinger constellations, there is often work with cases where the family system imposes an unnatural role on the client (for example, a daughter is identified with her father’s former love, plays the role of a rival for mom and lover for dad. See also the article “Hellinger Constellations. The influence of systems on a person). The main thing is that a person perceives the induced state, thoughts, impulses to action as his own, and therefore, without hesitation, he puts into action.
People are completely immersed in the game, follow a certain scenario, which, most likely, has already been played out more than once (see the article "Archetype" and in the section " Higher archetypes" of the article " Loss and return of the soul") and an attentive observer knows how and by what everything will end (E. Berne in the book “Games People Play” analyzed the frequent forms of human interaction, what lies on the surface, the hidden benefits that are not realized by the participants and the negative consequences that the players do not notice, as well as ways to get out of these games, destroy scenarios). Accordingly, if a person remembers himself during the game, he knows at what points there will be a fork in the course of the scenario, where and how it is necessary to make a push so that the game turns in the right direction and ends more favorably.
A person who is oriented in his subpersonalities, and can also determine which subpersonalities are launched by a partner, will find it easier to track what is happening, more flexibly and accurately manage the game. It is advisable to learn to track the key points where you need to push. Under the influence of point impulses, a person begins to unconsciously roll in the right direction, to work out the scenario in which he was sent. Often a person does not take care of himself and the impulses coming from outside, plays everything indiscriminately: they put an aggressive record on him - he aggresses, they changed him to a gentle one - he is gentle, the leader was activated - he selflessly plays the leader, commands.
Example "Wise Woman"
An angry husband comes home, his wife can, depending on the goals, turn on different subpersonalities (I want to spend the evening in the form of a scandal or so that it somehow ends well, in a warm way). To some words of the husband and actions, the wife may feel strong impulses to react negatively, something inside her beckons to explode. Here it is easy to succumb and sink into already finished script skirmish, in which both sides shout, consider themselves absolutely right and do not understand what is happening at all.
But let's say a woman remembers herself and activates a "caring wife" or "mother." These subpersonalities modulate the outgoing energy in a certain way. Such a state of the wife invites (better to say, imperceptibly hypnotizes, shifts the assemblage point) to her husband gradually reorganize, put on a different mask, more adequate to the situation. A man can gradually leave his angry state and begin to play the role of an "affectionate husband." The transition process is usually smooth, the fire gradually fades. There is also a tougher version of the change, when the wife does something that goes far beyond the script, the man can fall into a stupor, trance, and from this state he can be pushed in the right direction. As a result, communication develops the way the woman wanted it, although, perhaps, the man did not notice anything. Then you can turn on your “mistress”, and first, through subtle hints, flirting, a thawed, softened husband is gradually transferred to the state of a “male”, or from a “loving mother” to feed and put to sleep a sweet dream.
A person through a conscious change in his state can change the atmosphere around him. Switching the active subpersonality, he changes his radiation that affects the world (or in another way: by shifting the position of the assemblage point, a person moves to another world, with slightly different characteristics).
Example "Transformation of the world"
If a person used to constantly play the role of a dissatisfied aggressive person, regularly got into conflicts and quarreled with someone (people and the subtle plane reacted accordingly to him, mirrored him internal state, mood), and now it has become softer and more welcoming, then the environment around him is gradually changing, becoming more friendly and welcoming, potentially conflict situations are less common, occur in a milder form and fade faster.
In addition to the "aggressor", people often play the role of "offended", "helpless", "unfortunate", "victim" and thus form the appropriate environment. You can set yourself the task of tracking initial stages launch these roles and try to get out of them as quickly as possible (until you plunge headlong and forget yourself in the game), “change the record” for a more suitable one (see the technique for getting out of obsessive states in the article “The invisible world and its impact on person"). It is important to remember that states can come from outside, from someone else, and there is no need to act them out.