The world through the eyes of a winner (beliefs in human life). Positive beliefs versus negative ones

Beliefs of a person are those programs according to which a person acts consciously or unconsciously. By changing beliefs, a person's attitude and his actions change, which entails a change in his standard of living. Beliefs are what you need to start working on yourself.

You can try for as long as you want to become rich, happy, or something else. But if this is contradicted by a belief, for example, that it is life-threatening to be rich, then this will only lead to sabotage of the process. As soon as there is an opportunity to move forward, he will begin to look for ways to wrap up the process. Therefore, with the old installations that block the movement forward, it is impossible to achieve significant heights. You can make plans, visualize a colorful future, but if your unconscious knows that it is life-threatening, then it will protect you in every possible way from this.

Two types of beliefs

The first type of human belief is very simple in logical structure. He talks about direct dependence, for example, "I'm beautiful!". Based on this belief, a person will unconsciously do all those processes that would lead him to this state. He will dress beautifully, he will want to eat certain foods (which will positively affect the condition of his skin), and so on. The opposite also works, for example, "I'm ugly." And this person will unconsciously row in this direction. He will eat foods that will cause acne and obesity. The unconscious will look for ways to make the person look in line with the belief. That is, a person will adapt to these beliefs.

From a biological point of view, this is done because if a person survived with this belief in childhood, then this belief helped survival. In the future, the unconscious simply automatically continues to use the belief as useful. The unconscious indiscriminately takes all the beliefs that led to survival. Spins them until the end of life. These processes are very difficult to change, but possible.

The second type of beliefs is more complex in structure. These beliefs come from the contrary. They can be directed to who and what I do not want to see in my life.

I'll give you an example. One of my clients had a very poor childhood. Her whole childhood was connected with the fact that she did what she did not want to. And the strongest discomfort in her was caused by those processes in which she had to obey. She had the belief that "there is nothing worse than external pressure on her." But the brain is so arranged that it tends to go where it is familiar with the territory. And this woman found herself such a husband who put pressure on her. She also moved from the central region of Russia to the north. Thus, she ensured that in this small cold town, there was only one job that she hated. She unconsciously created such conditions for herself, where everything put pressure on her.

The two types of beliefs: towards good and away from good are just different beliefs tinged with comfortable and uncomfortable feelings. But since it makes no difference to the human brain whether you experience joy or irritation (they are just different hormones), the brain will reproduce them indiscriminately. For your brain, it's the same:

I'm good, cool, smart!
I'm a moral freak!
I can do everything!
This world is dangerous!
Dating, communication, communication is difficult

All of the above, these beliefs will lead to different results, but these are just beliefs that he will reproduce indiscriminately. And of course, the main task of a person is to change these beliefs, removing those that interfere.

public beliefs

Consider the beliefs that society recognizes as beneficial. Let's get started Shame. tells us that something is wrong with us. We do something bad, something forbidden. Or shame tells us that our desire is vile.

For example, a husband wants sex with other women, while his wife is no longer arousing. The husband considers his desires shameful ... But what does shame have to do with it! Everything is fine with the man. But the fact that he lives with a woman whom he does not want and does not solve this issue is his only problem.

Or farting in public - for some it's a shame. But this is normal physiology. Can you also write and poop ashamed? Shame is a destructive feeling that creates fear where it should not be.

Every action has consequences. Adults differ from children in that they understand the results of their actions. For example, if a person deceives everyone, then the natural result will be that the people around him will no longer trust him. If a husband cheats on his wife, then one of the natural consequences will be that the wife will not trust him and this will affect the relationship.

Shame is a completely unnecessary and destructive feeling. It takes energy, makes you worry and experience stress. Many believe that if there was no shame, then a person would behave immorally. But what is morality? These are just some unwritten laws that were invented so that the people would be more manageable. And these moral laws change every 50 years (each ruler writes them for himself). Look here:

All for the people and the state. Rich means enemy of the people (socialism)
All for yourself. Rich is handsome (present)
There is no sex and that's okay (USSR)
Only losers don't have sex (present)

If shame and morality are something unshakable for you, then you actually become a puppet. Do not think that if there is suddenly no morality, then the world turns into chaos. The world turns into chaos not because of the lack of morality, but because people do nothing and look for easy ways (although this is condemned by morality).

It was not clear to me how without certain moral norms, humanity would exist. But when I myself got rid of these limiting beliefs, I began to see the whole picture. The less mental clamps, the greater the productivity and benefit from a person.

Conscience and Guilt

Conscience, like guilt, feelings that prevent you from living peacefully, developing and achieving your goals. You will probably agree with me that no one can stand your life for you. Not your parents, not your friends, no one else. If you don't invest in your life, your life will be a coincidence.

Conscience says that we must adhere to some kind of moral laws, and Guilt says that I did something bad towards someone and therefore I need to spoil my mood (blame myself). Since these feelings are about the same thing, I combined them.

It always seemed to me that if I did something that was not part of my plans - the most logical way is to immediately correct this situation (or score and move on). And all this mental masturbation, therefore, about wrong actions only exacerbates the situation. It only takes energy. Therefore, when I work with clients, I remove their conscience, guilt, shame, fear and other mental atavisms.

Belief Formation

In order for a person to form a conviction, this statement must be supported by a real situation and a real example. All beliefs of a person are laid down at the age of 6 years. What happens to a small child is recorded in the brain as important. Because the main task of the little man is to survive. And up to the age of seven, this is the most dangerous period, because at this age the child cannot protect himself. But the older he gets, the more ways he has to influence the situation.

If something life-threatening happens to a child, for example, the child did something useful around the house, and his parents scolded him for breaking a plate in the process. Then the child can make a decision that it is dangerous to express himself, they can be punished for this. From here, the root of laziness () can come from.

Absolutely also all fears are created. An example of fear of the dark can arise when small child frightened by monsters in the dark. Some beliefs are formed in the prenatal period. If the mother was thinking about something and it had a strong emotional connotation, then the child will automatically write down this information. From the last: during pregnancy, the mother thought how fat she had become, and the child took this information for herself. One of the deepest knowledge of the child was that he was fat (should be fat). And all his life he lived up to this belief. Because it is important for a child to copy all parental behavior, because he does not know how to behave in this world in order to survive. And if mom is fat (or thought she was fat), maybe it's important to survive in this world. Maybe they eat all the thin ones?

Almost 100% of all beliefs and beliefs are rooted before the age of 6 years. At the age of 10 or 15, it is already quite difficult to put some kind of mental trauma on a child. In most cases, pre-existing injuries resonate.

Changing Beliefs

In order to remove old beliefs, you need to disband the evidence. Evidence is real situations supporting this belief. Since most of the beliefs are laid in childhood, you need to work with childhood memories.

It helps to find such memories. With this technique, we can get to the event that gave rise to the belief. Further, using Gestalt therapy techniques, we remove the emotion from this situation and find the logical error that the child made when he got into this situation. For example, a mother looked in the mirror and thought about herself that she was fat, and the child simply copied this feeling and knowledge to himself. Although at the moment when he was in his mother's womb, he could understand that this was his mother's feeling and he did not need to take it (mother can feel how she wants, and he can feel how he wants). After the balance has been restored to an empty place, a useful habit is instilled in a person. Specifically, in this situation, you can do the following: “always strives for 50 kg. I am slim and fit. Then the body itself will begin to look for ways to achieve the goal. Although the technique seems to be some kind of fantastic, its effectiveness is very high - about 90% (if a person is motivated to work).

When I talk to my clients who have been going to psychologists for years and trying to solve their psychological problems, then I immediately explain to them that I will be their last. I say this not for a beautiful word, but because it really will be so. For 5-10 sessions, you can completely remove all fears, as well as some psychosomatic diseases. If I could give guarantees, I would give them. But I noticed that after I give a guarantee to a person, he stops working. Since he blames the entire outcome of our therapy on me. Then the effectiveness of our work drops immediately to zero. Therefore, I do not give guarantees, but I always say that if you work honestly, we will succeed, others have succeeded and you will succeed.

Be healthy and happy!
Oleg.

P.S. For those who read this and want specific actions, you can use those on my website. They need to be repeated according to a special technique: looking into your eyes, through a mirror, out loud. I usually give these affirmations to my clients so that after our therapy they quickly come to a positive state of health. as a support tool.

One of the most important and effective internal personal mechanisms is the work of beliefs. A strong conviction in something forms a corresponding picture of reality in a person. The world around is not something that exists physically, but something that is perceived mentally through this matrix. Therefore, the role of beliefs in the mental life of a person largely consists in changing oneself and one's behavior under the influence of an appropriate way of thinking.

The Nature of Beliefs

Beliefs are perceived as a worldview component, they are stable ideas, ideals, principles, value judgments that directly affect the actions and deeds of a person. Unlike suggestion, which appears, most often, unexpectedly, spontaneously, is not reflected, conviction is based on a person’s meaningful acceptance as true of any information or ideas, their deep analysis.

The appearance of beliefs is facilitated either by knowledge or faith, however, their formation does not occur automatically, but is supported by life experience, feelings, experiences, attitude to what is happening. We come to conviction in something either on our own or under the influence of others. In order for a statement to become a belief, it must have arguments, be repeated many times. For example, parents teach their child the idea that a carefree life is possible only in childhood, and in adulthood everyone will face a hard, hopeless struggle for survival. Is it necessary to explain what a negative role such attitudes play, how they can harm in life, if you don’t fight them, you don’t overcome them.

Beliefs are emotionally experienced, become the motives of a person's behavior and determine his attitude towards various areas reality. In many ways, they are subjective in nature, as a worldview result of the existence of a particular subject. Their “residence” is the deep layers of the human unconscious. Some beliefs get there in childhood, when critical thinking is not yet developed, some - already in adult life by consciously adopting a belief system.

Sources of belief are: parental family, educational establishments, friends and acquaintances, society in general, media, self-education and books, life experience, other factors. Their formation begins in early childhood, which is influenced by the way of life and traditions of the family. Mature beliefs appear in adolescence and youth, which is facilitated by knowledge, the process of thinking, a critical attitude to reality, the formation of a worldview and an active life position. Often, attitudes are laid down by people who are authoritative for a person, whose statements are not disputed because of their reference to a person.

What are the beliefs

All existing beliefs can be classified on various grounds. For example, according to the content criterion, they are scientific, political, moral, religious. According to the source from which they come, one can distinguish: personal and group beliefs. So, among the personal, the wording is popular: “If ... then” (“If I work hard and hard, I will achieve success”, “If I go to live in a metropolis, I will gain money, fame”). Popular group beliefs: "All men are goats", "All the rich are selfish", "Miracles do not happen." In psychology, beliefs are divided into positive and negative.

Positive (positive) beliefs are also called resource beliefs, meaning that they give strength to move forward, climb the ladder of self-development, and become better. They also have a beneficial effect on human health.

Examples of positive beliefs: “I will succeed”, “I have the strength, I can handle it”, “I can succeed”, “It all depends on me”, “I control the process of life”, “I respect and appreciate people, they respond the same to me." As you can see, this kind of belief is very similar to affirmations (you can learn more about it on our website).

Negative (negative) beliefs are called unresourceful, inhibiting, limiting, as they provoke harm, destruction, self-restraint of the individual. They block all useful undertakings of a person, form self-doubt, incompetence in their knowledge, actions and deeds. Those people who have managed to achieve something in life, the carriers of negativity are called nothing more than exceptions, lucky ones, “units”.

Examples of negative beliefs: “Others succeed, but I don’t have the strength, means, time”, “It’s too late”, “There’s nothing to be done”, “I can’t”, “You can’t get anywhere”, “We must obey the circumstances”, "Here I am powerless." Such formulations must be resisted by reworking them into positive, resourceful ones.

The influence of beliefs on a person's lifestyle

The role of beliefs in our lives is enormous: they can determine the level of mental abilities, affect health, form social bonds, embody creative possibilities, promote personal happiness and success in life. We can say that a person is a prisoner of his own attitudes: often he does not choose them, but vice versa. At all times, it was not the world that changed, but people who in each era perceived it differently.

A person's beliefs about himself and his abilities, as a rule, are unchanged. They provide the necessary motivation, largely determine behavior, daily activities and are able to create a framework for human capabilities. They can be expanded to the size of the Universe, or they can be narrowed down to the closed space of a matchbox - the main thing is to realize this process.

Under the influence of positive beliefs, personal growth occurs. It is not enough just to want to become better, increase your income, meet your other half - you need to be sure of this. There are many examples when a positive approach, backed by conviction in the result, did the seemingly impossible - led people to recover from the most dangerous diseases, improved health and appearance, made the placebo effect work, developed their extraordinary Creative skills. So to get rid of excess weight, it is necessary, first of all, to allow yourself to change, to acquire psychological readiness to start losing weight, and then any methods can equally help.

Here, a person's attitude to positive, his love of life is extremely important. If he is convinced that he can do something, then he will definitely do it, if he is sure that something is impossible, then there will not be enough strength to accomplish it. It is necessary to overcome the restrictions invented by the people themselves, which have no real grounds. The faster you manage to harmonize beliefs and behavior, the better the result is expected.

Is it possible to change beliefs and how to do it?

So, it is obvious what a high price a person pays for the existence of his erroneous attitudes. However, can they be rebuilt, changed, armed with new ones capable of leading us to new achievements? And how can this be done? human history proves that even the most stable and undeniable beliefs are capable of being destroyed. Thus, it was once believed that pagan gods it is necessary to make sacrifices, and the Earth is in the center of the Cosmos.

You can change your strong, deep-seated negative attitudes with the help of rational work, repeated repetition of positive beliefs. That is, we are talking, in fact, about the reprogramming of consciousness, the renewal of one's personality. Psychologists have proposed an approximate scheme of this process:

In contrast to the belief that needs to be changed, a new one is formed, opposite in meaning, containing only positive emotions, without negation.
It is supported by an evidence base for justification - relevant, weighty facts. For example, in order to be confident in one's abilities, it is useful to study the biographies of celebrities from poor families who have become wealthy, or the success stories of people with special needs. A lot of such evidence is required, they need to be cited regularly.
The resulting belief must be sent to the subconscious. To do this, it is worked out in moments of relaxation of the fetters of consciousness, meditative practices, before going to bed, through affirmations. The time to push out the old installation and replace it with a new one depends only on personal diligence.
It is desirable to create negative associations with old beliefs (brought costs, losses), and positive associations with new ones (helped to achieve success, increase well-being).

Conviction is a quality of a person, expressed in a subjective attitude to one's beliefs and actions, associated with a firm belief in the truth of the knowledge, principles and ideals by which it is guided.

Two people were arguing along the road. One says, they say, there is no God, and therefore I do not believe in him. Another objected ardently, there is a God, and that's it, because I believe in him. A monk walked past them. The disputants noticed him, stopped him and asked for help, they really wanted to prove their case. The monk stopped. He listened to each of them, thought and said: “One of you believes that there is no God, the other that He is. There is no point in such a belief. And there is no point in believing like you. Need to know. And when you find out, there will be no point in arguing. Therefore, do not waste your time and energy in vain, go and get down to business. “But how do we know if He really exists?” the disputants asked in surprise. “Stop believing in your beliefs, and the truth will be revealed to you,” the monk replied with a smile and left.

Human happiness depends on the environmental friendliness of his beliefs. Our thoughts, actions and behaviors are based on our convictions and beliefs. If we are able to somehow substantiate, explain or prove beliefs, then beliefs are uncritically learned ideas about life. What are our beliefs and beliefs - such is life. Today's standard of living is a reflection of our beliefs. The range of our thoughts and behaviors is limited by the quality of our convictions and beliefs. By changing our beliefs, we change our lives. Human happiness depends on choice which he did at one point or another in his life. Every person has freedom of choice. Between any event and our reaction to it there is always a layer - our right to choose. We ourselves choose how to respond to any stimulus, stimulus or situation. Let the gap between the stimulus and the reaction to it may be a fraction of a second, but at this moment we still make a choice. Any choice in our life is determined by our beliefs and beliefs. For example, a guy returns home in the evening and sees that hooligans are robbing a woman in a dark corner of the yard. He is faced with a choice: pass by or stand up for a woman. The brain calculates everything in a fraction of a second possible consequences his actions. At this moment, perhaps, his whole life is decided: what kind of person he will be, if he is mean, whether he can feel like a full-fledged man. In any case, his choice will depend entirely on the quality of his convictions and beliefs.

Beliefs are a person's personal constitution. In the spirit of our basic law, we perceive the world around us. Breaking through the censorship of our beliefs is extraordinarily difficult. We firmly believe in the truth of our beliefs. They are a form of self-hypnosis, self-hypnosis. We identify with them. All our actions are subject to beliefs. Although there is no logic in them, they are difficult to prove, but, all the same, they are for us, coupled with beliefs, the only guide to action. Comedians joke that beliefs that are not supported by arguments indicate that you have your own position. Our belief system resides in the subconscious. The subconscious mind is faced with the task of systematically confirming our innocence. To demonstrate her will and voice, she uses emotions, behavioral responses and thoughts. The belief system serves as a "bait" to attract certain people and circumstances into our lives. It is not based on personal worldly experience- everything is exactly the opposite. This experience is the fruit of our convictions. In short, beliefs hold the reins of our lives in their firm hands.

So, in the circus, adult elephants are tied to wooden poles only with a thin rope, and small elephants are chained to reliable metal poles buried deep in the ground. This is to prevent them from trying to escape. If the post is firmly enough in the ground, and the chain is strong enough, the baby elephant will not be able to go further than it should be. Sooner or later, the day comes when he stops pulling the chain and stops trying to escape. The metal pole is replaced with a wooden one, because they know that the animal is used to the idea of the impossibility of escape. We do the same with ourselves, limiting ourselves to our own beliefs about our capabilities and abilities. It turns out that we are not limited by reality, but by our limiting beliefs.

To put it metaphorically, in early childhood we were just bought, but already spiritualized computer. We haven't installed any programs yet. We were perfection, our true selves. Later, inputs from our parents, educators, teachers and peers began to enter the virgin consciousness. So, step by step, our system of beliefs and beliefs was formed. Many programs were based on the life experiences of parents. As they understood the world, they passed it on to us. Children's beliefs occupy a dominant place in our belief system. The encroachment on them is perceived by us in the context of the Stalinist order "Not a step back!" We are not interested in whether they are true or not, decent or vicious. We just believe in our beliefs. In this context, a person cannot be considered decent just because he has his own convictions. It is necessary to check whether the beliefs themselves are decent. In a word, our beliefs are in any case limiting, but we perceive them as the ultimate truth.

Metaphorical, in this sense, is the way the frog's eyes work. The frog sees most objects in its immediate environment, but it only interprets objects that move and have a certain shape. This is very important for catching flies. However, since only moving black objects are perceived as food, the frog will be doomed to death in a box, full of dead flies. Thus, our limiting beliefs put an insurmountable barrier to our new opportunities.

The baton for the formation of our beliefs is picked up by the parents of the fourth estate. Through TV, the Internet, we are inspired on the basis of the intellectual McDonald's stereotypes of behavior and stereotyped thinking. The source of our beliefs is also personal experience and relationships with authority figures.

beliefs and expectations

Having installed system software in a computer, we expect it to answer all our questions and perform functions corresponding to these programs. From your system software in the form of beliefs, we also expect it to give the right answers to the questions of the world around us. We expect people to behave in accordance with our beliefs. When they behave contrary to our expectations, we develop resentment and irritation. Why not be offended, because our ideas are beliefs, and the beliefs of others are prejudices? We are full of expectations that various life situations should unfold according to our scenario. However, the world is not predictable. We are confronted at every step with surprises, with incomprehensible and inexplicable situations. By the way, the more surprises that arise on our life path, the more our belief system does not correspond to the demands of reality. When the world turns away from us, we either adjust our belief system, or stubbornly try to bend the world to suit us.

The question may arise: “What if you “delete” your belief system altogether?” The appearance of complete freedom is created, life can be “let go” to smoothly go with the flow without presenting claims to it. Again, there is no dependency on beliefs. Therefore, we cannot be controlled and manipulated by our beliefs. However, this is an illusion. The belief that one can live without belief is already a belief. There is no person without conviction. Let any person have some system of values in the most primitive and frail form. It is not possible for us to reach the final station on the “road home”, that is, to return again to the moment of our birth. If we hypothetically remove all the garbage of beliefs, we become perfection. We no longer need to go through the lessons of life, there is no need to strive to be closer to our true essence, we do not need to improve. We are perfection. This, of course, is fantasy. Man is a social animal. It is impossible to live in society and be free from society. Whether we like it or not, we are subject to its influence and suggestion. Circumstances will force us to assimilate certain social prescriptions, laws, conditions and requirements of "hostel". Otherwise, society cannot survive. Social requirements and conditions of relationships with other people will be forced to settle in the subconscious of a person as beliefs.

Work with beliefs. Suppose we set ourselves the goal of becoming a rich, prosperous person. Good purpose. In order for the road to it to be knurled, you need to carefully delve into your subconscious in order to search for limiting beliefs. Maybe we have so much rubbish in our subconscious on the topic “Wealth and money” that it’s not worth even thinking about it? If our beliefs are in conflict with the goal, success will not be seen. The goal is achieved only in unison with beliefs. The main argument in favor of our beliefs is active assistance on the way to the goal.

Therefore, you should take an inventory of your beliefs on this topic and identify limiting beliefs. Imagine we are taking a written essay exam. Theme: Wealth and money. The allotted time is half an hour. Punctuation marks and spelling errors are not taken into account. The main thing for us is to reveal the topic, throw out all our beliefs in this area of life in half an hour. It is not difficult to put new convictions and beliefs into the head, it is difficult to get rid of old ones. However, we must do so. For example, after checking the essay, we found ten harmful beliefs: “Wealth is obscene”, “God loves the poor”, “Wealth makes lonely”, “Who is rich, he no longer has true friends”, “Wealth breeds envy”, “The rich cannot sleep peacefully”, “Big money causes worries and problems”, “Wealth is acquired at the expense of my health”, “Acquiring wealth, I lose dignity”. As you can see, the shake-up of beliefs gave a solid catch. Tell me, is it possible to count on wealth with such negative tails? Of course, and definitely not. Therefore, we take the first conviction and, as an accuser, we prove to ourselves, as if to a jury, its complete inconsistency for us. Our first limiting belief is "Wealth is obscene." To debunk this belief, five arguments are enough: “It is obscene to boast of wealth. It is a shame to be poor”, “Wealth is not only money. The word wealth can be applied to different concepts. Wealth of love, wealth of friendship, wealth family life, wealth of experience, wealth of culture”, “Wealth is financial freedom. What is decent and what is not decent was invented by people, evaluating life from the standpoint of “good or bad”. I am free from human evaluations”, “Wealth is freedom from debt, from constant agony in search of money to pay off debts. It is indecent to live in debt. It is obscene to run around the neighbors to intercept money before payday”, “Wealth is an opportunity personal growth, achieving big goals. It's decent. Society is interested in the development of its citizens.” It seems that with such arguments we have dispelled all our own doubts. You can forget about this belief.

Now take the new belief “Being rich is natural law each person” and argue it. Our arguments: “You can’t live a truly full and full-blooded life without being rich”, “A person’s right to life means his right to freely own everything that is needed for the mental, spiritual and physical development”, “The poor are a burden for relatives and for society as a whole. A person who wants to vegetate in poverty is not normal”, “It is not reasonable to live only for the soul, denying the body and mind. Wealth makes it possible to satisfy all the needs of the body, mind and soul”, “A person is happy when he gives something to those he loves. The poor man can only sing with an unhappy smile: “I can’t give you expensive gifts on your birthday, but on these spring nights I can talk about love.” The rich can give gifts." I think that these arguments will be enough for the old limiting belief to leave our subconscious forever.

Sometimes the completion of a work depends on final touch. For us, this stroke will be filling a new belief with images. In turn, the images should saturate with feelings and emotions . Our new belief: "To be rich is the natural right of every person." Let's breathe life into it with images, feelings and emotions. What associations do we have with the words “the right to wealth”? For most people, this is wealth, power, money, fortune, spirituality, charity, intelligence, respectability, luxury, abundance, accumulation, prosperity, stability, strength, testament and property. Let's turn on the imagination: here we are traveling on a yacht across all the seas and oceans, stopping where we please and visiting local attractions. Getting to know interesting people, feast on dishes of national cuisine, have fun and see each day with some sadness. Everyone has their own associations. The main thing is that they make us feel good. The subconscious will be grateful to us for this step, because it is used to operating with images. Using the same algorithm, we work with the following limiting beliefs until they are completely forced out of the subconscious. Our efforts will be richly rewarded.

Now that we have some clarity about beliefs, imagine the situation. You meet a friend, and he says to you: “I have such beliefs about beliefs: Do not flatter yourself with your beliefs - firstly, they are not yours, and secondly, they are not true. Not yours, because a person is a cocktail of other people's beliefs, beliefs, delusions, stereotypes, prejudices and superstitions. This cocktail was made as a child. And not true, because all beliefs are subjective. Time will pass and most of your beliefs will become delusions. Beliefs are delusions not discovered in time. Do you think your friend is right?

Petr Kovalev 2013

20 ways to convince people - the ability to convince as the basis of success in business life

Not the stronger one who has great knowledge, but the one who is able to convince is a well-known axiom. Knowing how to choose words, you own the world. The art of persuasion is a whole science, but all its secrets have long been revealed by psychologists in a way that is easy to understand, simple rules which any successful business man knows by heart. How to convince people - advice from experts ...

Control over the situation is impossible without a sober assessment of the situation. Evaluate the situation itself, the reaction of people, the possibility of the influence of strangers on the opinion of your interlocutor. Remember that the result of the dialogue should be beneficial for both parties.
Mentally put yourself in the place of the interlocutor. Without trying to "get into the shoes" of the opponent and without empathizing with him, it is impossible to influence a person. Feeling and understanding the opponent (with his desires, motives and dreams), you will find more opportunities for persuasion.

The first and natural reaction of almost any person to pressure from outside is resistance.. The stronger the “pressure” of persuasion, the stronger the person resists. You can eliminate the "barrier" from the opponent by positioning him towards you. For example, to play a joke on yourself, on the imperfection of your product, thereby "lulling" the vigilance of a person - there is no point in looking for flaws if you have listed them. Another of the tricks is a sharp change in tone. From official to simple, friendly, universal.
Use “creative” phrases and words in communication - no denial or negativity. Incorrect: “if you buy our shampoo, your hair will stop falling out” or “if you don’t buy our shampoo, you won’t be able to appreciate its fantastic effectiveness.” Correct option: “Restore strength and health to your hair. New shampoo with a fantastic effect! Instead of the questionable word "if", use the convincing "when". Not “if we do…”, but “when we do…”.

Do not impose your opinion on the opponent - give him the opportunity to think independently, but "highlight" the right path. Wrong option: "Without cooperation with us, you lose a lot of advantages." Correct option: "Cooperation with us is a mutually beneficial alliance." Wrong option: "Buy our shampoo and see how effective it is!". Correct option: "The effectiveness of the shampoo has been proven by thousands of positive responses, multiple studies, the Ministry of Health, the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, etc."
Look for arguments to convince your opponent in advance, having thought through all the possible branches of the dialogue. Present your arguments in a calm and confident tone without emotional coloring without haste and in detail.
When convincing an opponent of something, you must be sure of your point of view. Any of your doubts about the “truth” you put forward is instantly “caught” by a person, and trust in you is lost.

Learn sign language. This will help you avoid mistakes and better understand your opponent.
Never give in to provocations. In persuading your opponent, you must be a "robot" who cannot be pissed off. “Balance, honesty and reliability” are three “pillars” of trust even in a stranger.
Always use facts - the best weapon of persuasion. Not “grandmother told” and “read on the Internet”, but “there are official statistics ...”, “on personal experience I know that…”, etc. Witnesses, dates and figures, videos and photographs, opinions of famous people are the most effective as facts.

Learn the art of persuasion from your children. The child knows that by offering his parents a choice, he, at least, will not lose anything and even gain: not “Mom, well, buy it!”, But “Mom, buy me a radio-controlled robot, or at least a designer”. By offering a choice (and by preparing the conditions for the choice in advance so that the person makes the right choice), you allow the opponent to think that he is the master of the situation. Proven fact: it is rare for a person to say “no” when offered a choice (even if it is an illusion of choice).

Convince your opponent of his uniqueness. Not by vulgar open flattery, but by the appearance of a "recognized fact." For example, "Your company is known to us as a responsible company with a positive reputation and one of the leaders in this field of production." Or "We have heard about you as a man of duty and honor." Or "We would like to work only with you, you are known as a person whose words never diverge from deeds."
Focus on the "secondary benefit". For example, “Cooperation with us is not only low prices for you, but also great prospects.” Or “Our new teapot is not just a technological super-novelty, but your delicious tea and a pleasant evening with your family.” Or "Our wedding will be so magnificent that even kings will envy." We focus, first of all, on the needs and characteristics of the audience or opponent. Based on them, we put accents.

Do not allow neglect and arrogance towards the interlocutor. He should feel on the same level with you, even if in ordinary life you drive around such people for a kilometer in your expensive car.
Always start a conversation with moments that can unite you with your opponent, not divide. Immediately tuned to the right “wave”, the interlocutor ceases to be an opponent and turns into an ally. And even in the event of disagreements, it will be difficult for him to answer you “no”.
Follow the principle of demonstrating shared benefit. Every mother knows that perfect way chatting a child on a trip to the store with her - to inform that sweets are sold at the checkout with toys, or “suddenly remember” that his favorite cars were promised big discounts this month. The same method, only in a more complex execution, underlies business negotiations and contracts between ordinary people. Mutual benefit is the key to success.

Position the person towards you. Not only in personal relationships, but also in the business environment, people are guided by likes / dislikes. If the interlocutor is unpleasant to you, or even completely disgusting (outwardly, in communication, etc.), then you will have no business with him. Therefore, one of the principles of persuasion is personal charm. It is given to someone from birth, and someone has to learn this art. Learn to highlight your strengths and hide your weaknesses.

AT art of persuasion idea 1:

Video about the art of persuasion 2:

Is it right in our time to have beliefs? The answer is simple and ridiculously obvious: good beliefs are right. But what are good beliefs? Checking this out is easier than you might think. If your beliefs lead to respecting others, making interesting and intelligent friends, and achieving challenging goals, then they are likely correct. And vice versa.

Some people are convinced that life is an eternal struggle. They see all rivals and enemies. And they buy them. Perhaps this is not the best belief, because it puts such people above others. If you learn to find an approach to people and interact effectively with them, this will speak of the correctness of beliefs. Here is a list to think about.

Belief #1: My life is an incredible gift

Even in the most difficult situations you can remember this simple thing: you are alive, you can interact with others and develop.

Notice the little things around you, be grateful for everything you have. This belief helps achieve the spiral effect: the better you think about your life, the better it gets.

Belief #2: Everyone I meet is potentially my best friend.

Such is the human psyche: if we treat a stranger well, then he often reciprocates. So treat new people like best friends. This strategy will help in acquiring acquaintances and who knows, maybe one day they will play a key role in your destiny.

If you consider everyone around you as enemies, you will only get hostility in return. Make ill-wishers, earn stress and wait for a blow from everywhere. So what is the best belief?

Belief #3: The next 24 hours are the most important of my life.

There is no "tomorrow", there is only "now" and "today". The habit of believing that in a few days we will begin to change our lives leads to laziness and, to a complete inability to make decisions and act.

What happens today affects tomorrow and so on. Therefore, if you respect the next 24 hours, look for opportunities and develop yourself, then this will give strength to the coming days.

Give it your all today: it's the only thing you can do.

Belief #4: Everything will end well in the end

Agree, in most cases, all life's troubles are resolved. Got fired? This is an opportunity. A new challenge, a way to find worthy use of your abilities or develop new ones. Dropped out of university? Well, it's not the end of the world either. Find a job, become a professional, develop skills. Life is an eternal school, you just need to be constantly ready to perceive new things and learn.

Belief #5: Life is a game to be played, not a problem to be solved

When we look at life as a game, we get a lot of positive emotions. Otherwise, it is stress, anxiety, apathy and.

Agree, a person who sees the game in everything is able to cope with any difficulties. He just wonders why he made a mistake or failed. This is a scientific, inventive interest. Such a life becomes an adventure, a riddle and a mystery.

Belief #6: I will achieve my 100% potential by all means and succeed

Persuasion for the most courageous. What potential do you have? Don't lie, you think very well of yourself and think you deserve more. So maybe it's time to stop doing nonsense, complain about fate and take matters into your own hands?

Don't wait for the right moment. Find your true passion and follow it to the end while absorbing new information meeting new people and achieving big goals.

Belief #7: No one cares what I really think

All people think only of themselves. And they only care about their own problems. This is neither good nor bad: it is a given. They may think about you when you are in the spotlight, but then they will forget, because everyone is surrounded by hundreds of small problems and dozens of big ones.

Stop what people think of you. It looks pretty funny, actually.

Belief 8: It's OK to Ask Questions, It's OK to Say No

If you don't understand something, ask. Feel free to ask questions because people love to answer them.

Also remember that you can refuse any request. This doesn't mean always refusing, just know that you have the right.

Belief #9: Change Yourself First

Some of us want to change the world, and that is a laudable desire. But year after year passes and nothing happens.

If you change yourself first, the world will automatically change itself. Friends and inner circle will begin to reach out to you, you will become an example to follow. And then they will listen to you.

We wish you good luck!